One of those nights...
...when you just can't fall asleep. It's 1:20 am and I'm supposed to get up in four hours for work. Fuck.
Remember how I said I would use alarm on my naps? Well, I didn't, because I was reading a book and fell asleep. And now my night sleep is ruined again. Is sleep deprivation a legit reason to come late to work? It should be, because the lack of sleep is in fact carcinogenic and highly correlated with Alzheimer's desease.
Been trying to read, taking CBD, and listening some ASMR videos. Yes, I watch them time to time, they might seem weird, but they do have a relaxing effect. Except now nothing seems to work. I just stare my blank eye lids like a living dead.
I do have some idea what's going on, but frankly it feels too personal to start digging into that right here. So what's the point of even mentioning it? I don't fucking know...
What do we even know about ourselves? Most of our motives driving this bag of meat called body are completely unconscious. This thing just keeps doing its thing, pumping blood, sending hormones - never asked if I like it or not. Now, I don't know why does it want me to keep me awake. Is there some acute problem that needs to be figured out?
You know, you might've realized how bizarre it is that inside someone's head there's a brain that makes zillion impulses, therefore making it seem like... human. But for some reason you never think about it on yourself – and then I realize that every experience and thought is because I have 1,3 kg of this squishy stuff behind my eyes. What the fuck's going with that? I might sound crazy, and I very well might be; who knows what kind of stuff is smoldering under the surface. You'd think you'd know that for yourself, but nah, ain't that the case. Ask Freud, he would agree. No, don't dig him from the grave – just go to one of your lucid dreams.
Fuck, actually got up at 2 am just because I had these funky pictures of my aunt's cat, Tiuku, that I thought would fit with this "post", if that is a fit description for these fiddling letters made with a very disorientated brain that is perhaps experiencing a existential crisis towards its own nature. Maybe the lady at the workplace was right when saying that "don't think too much".
"I got up 2 am to edit a picture of my aunt's cat, I think I have a problem."
Sounds like one of those phrases that would instantly be followed with a prescription for drugs of some kind to mess up more with this blobby jellyfish between my ears.
I caught Tiuku with a hilarious expression though: just when taking a picture she happened to yawn.
At least I get some Steem for this, though it very well might be the case I wouldn't have this problem if it wasn't for Steem. One of those egg-chicken problems. No, I think they actually solved it, I'm pretty sure it was chicken first. I'm not the scientist here though, so don't take my word on it. Make a mental note:
2:30 am, fuck.... way too many fucks in this post, fuck...
i found out about ASMR videos maybe 2-3 months ago (i know, shocking) and listened to few, find it mostly irritating and would most probably not get me to sleep.
sleep deprivation should be a legit reason to come late to work
People have spoken, let's make this into a law.
Posted using Partiko Android
Eggs came first. There were animals that laid eggs long before chickens came into existence.
Insomnia can be a bitch. I've had that problem before, and it seems that nothing works when your brain decides that you're not going to sleep.
That's a fair point 😄
Posted using Partiko Android
I want to 'lol' mercilessly before I say anything else (because of the fucks in this post) but I can't so I'll behave. I curse like this in real time most the time!
I think sleep deprivation should be a reason to even skip work because when I don't sleep, I became an irritated person. Nothing fixes this shit when it's decided that you are the one whose demons won't go to sleep... Editing Tiuku's photos at 2am sounds productive to me... reason being I choose to obsess over unfixable shit when I am sleepless!
Don't bother holding the lols, let it all out :D
Should be a legit reason also because productivity plummets when deprived.
Posted using Partiko Android
Cursing seems like a really good thing to do during intimate moments with your own mind. I barely curse in real life, but when alone with the mind while in bed not able to sleep, my god, the fucks that are there. That whole sentence probably needs to be routed so that it doesn't sound like some sort of sexual innuendo...my point is that cursing a lot inside our own minds is apparently very normal.
Anyway, so I was flipping through my old college philosophy textbook recently, of which I remember close to nothing. I was going through "the sages" chapter, when I stumbled across the three realities: "Although nothing lasts, suffering is everywhere, and the 'me' that suffers isn't even real." I had this ridiculous aha moment where I realized that all the overthinking evaluation I do periodically is not unique and has been done by humans for thousands of years and still is. So...we are all suffering together. Isn't that kind of beautiful? No? Well, fuck.
(That fuck just needed to be said.)
Haha, I didn't even read it that way until you pointed it out.
I think the Buddhists are onto something with their meditation practices to silence that "monkey mind". The difference in brain activity in certain regions can physically be measured with meditating people and non-meditating people.
Posted using Partiko Android
LMFAO, the middle cat pic got me.
Man, sleep problems suck. I remember at one point like a year ago, maybe a little more, I was sleep deprived for over a month! I couldn't fall asleep for hours. When I did, I got to sleep like a couple of hours until I had to be awake for another whole day. I didn't really look for solution either. At one point it just passed, I could fall asleep again.
I hear people saying they fall asleep right away as their head touches the pillow, or within like 5-10 minutes. I envy them. I feel as if it takes me at least 40 minutes from laying down until I start falling asleep...
I've tried the ''navy way of quickly falling asleep'' where you tense and relax all of your muscles but I think I'm getting it wrong, it doesn't work for me. Or I just want to get it all over with quickly and am not doing it properly.
These occurrences are fortunately quite rare for me though.
That's an interesting technique, haven't heard of it before. Maybe it's suposed to give a stress reaction to the body as to give it a permission to relax afterwards. Maybe it works only for seals :P
Posted using Partiko Android
I’m not a huge fan of cats but that second picture is hilarious, good stuff for memes! 😂 I saw it just as I was trying to get some sleep too.
You are definitely not all right in the head for editing cat pictures at 2am and listening to ASMR videos, but it’s all good fun!
That's what my aunt said too: very memeable picture.
Crazy people have much more fun than the sane ones. Weird thing is that I don't even feel particularly tired considering I got only few hours in. I'm getting manic, or something? Must be some crazy cat desease I'm infected with. No, cats actually sleep a lot... Well, like I said: crazy cat... 👀
Posted using Partiko Android
The cat pics are well worth it!
Sorry, I know, it's terrible to start fretting about why we're completely awake in the middle of the night with work the next day. I've just stopped fighting it when it happens and get up and do the cat collage or whatever and then try again later.
I don't think it's just hormonal mis-firing though that probably happens too, but a call to some kind of action that can't wait, for me it's often to do with some dreaming I've been doing and these can be (for me) messages from other places (meaning outside of my gray brain). Now, I'm the one who sounds crazy, but there are so many musicians and scientists and poets who've come to genius--called themselves conduits of a God or angels who deliver to them idea's of which they take action ;)
Thanks for your celestial rambles~
Yeah, I agree, if the sleep just doesn't come, it's better to do something rather than nothing. It's no good to have an association of your bed as a place where you can't get sleep.
Posted using Partiko Android
Hi @celestal!
Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 4.489 which ranks you at #2182 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has not changed in the last three days.
In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 108 contributions, your post is ranked at #51.
Evaluation of your UA score:
Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server
I love you in a celestial way just for this post! 🤪
Haha, thanks, mate!