Im all alone now

I used to have a live in housekeeper, who stayed for free. Her name was Krystyanna. Her mom passed away in January, 2020, and she couldnt afford the rent on the apartment she shared with her 85 yr old mother. She was her mothers caretaker also. She asked if she could live at my home, until she found a place of her own. Her mom passed away in January, and we werent able to pick up her ashes until late may of 2020, due to the covid outbreak, which was very distressing to Krysty. Krystyanna had a sad life. She lived in Paris Texas and worked for the Sara Lee bread company on the production line for about 15 yrs. Her husband died in Iraq from an IED, and about a year later, her only child, Marcus, was killed by a gang because he refused to join, and his body wasnt found until 6 day after he was reported missing. She had a mental breakdown after losing her son and husband, and was admitted to a psychiactric facility for 6 months in Texas. after being released, she contacted her mother in Fernandina Beach in Florida, and her mother allowed her to live with her for 8 years until she passed away from complications of diabetes. She put most of her things in storage, even though I told her she could put them in the barn up front, inside another aluminum bulding in the barn, so they would be safe, but she wanted to keep them in a storage unit, which cost her 520$ a month. She had advanced ovarian cancer, and tested positive for asbestos twice at her doctors office, and was scheduled to have surgurey to remove the affected areas. I took her to Baptist hospital at Jacksonville Beach, on a sunday, and she called me to pick her up on wednesday evening around 9pm, and when I arrived, she was sitting outside, alone in a wheelchair. I helped her get into the car, and asked how the surgery went. She told me they just kept her on morphine via IV, and never preformed the surgery. She had been screwed out of her 401k from Sara Lee, lost her husband, lost her son, and lost her mom. She was in a terrible state of mind. I took her to her freinds place in Mayport, which wasnt far from the hospital, after we drove through Arbys to get something for her to eat, as she was starving. She had two roast beef sandwiches and a large Sprite. I stayed with her at her freinds place until 11:30pm, and told her I would be back to pick her up in the morning, if she felt up to coming back to the island. The next morning, I recieved a call from her freind, telling me that she had passed away in her sleep. Her freind went into the room to check on her at 6am before going to work, and she was gone. Her cat, BooBoo was right next to her, and she still had the medical bracelet on her wrist from being discharged from the hospital. The police and coroner were there, and they took her body away before I could get there. She died in january 2021, almost a year after her mom passed. I felt as if I had let her down, maybe I could have taken her to another hospital or something. In july, 2017, I suffered from a stroke and heart attack in my sleep, and she was there to take care of me until I was able to walk and speak and drive on my own. She kept the house clean and the laundry and dishes, etc. I paid all of the bills and kept the refridgerator full, and being as we lived together on an island, it was easier to get her to quit smoking cigarretes, which saved her a lot of money and helped her health improve. I wasnt able to get her ashes until April, 2021, because of covid. I feel like I failed her, but I dont know what else I could have done to help her. She was there for me when I needed help. We didnt have a romantic relationship, just a platonic one, we needed each other to survive, and she would go out on dates with people she met online, which I encouraged her too, in order to network and make new freinds. Its June, 2021 now, and I struggle to keep up with the housework by myself. I also adopted her cat, BooBoo, and he became freinds with my two dogs, a chihuahua and a rat terrier/Jack Russel mix. Im not a cat person, but BooBoo has grown on me, and I pet him daily. Now all 3 of them sleep in the bed next to me. My biggest fear is who will take care of them when I pass away. Its the 3 of them who keep me going. Everytime I think about her, or check the mailbox and find mail for her, I cry. I loved her, but not in a sexual way. We had a symbiotic relationship. I cant understand why the hospital kept her there for 4 days and did nothing. Now Im afraid to go to the hospital, as they may decide to fatalize me as well, since Im no longer able to work, and of no use to society anymore. I always worked hard, since I was 16 years old, and didnt waste money and graduated in 1984 and had my own home on the water by 1989. I worked as a generator mechanic/diesel mechanic for Cummins/Onan for about 10 yrs, on the container cranes at JAXPORT for 9 yrs, made contact lenses for J&J for 9 1/2 yrs, and worked in Civil Service at the largest wastewater treatment plant for 10 yrs. When I was married, I had an agreement that we would be debt free, before having any children, but she couldnt wait, and spent more than she earned, and left me for a doctor she worked with in the ER. So I never had any children of my own. Now I sit at home, wearing this insulin pump, taking nitroglycerin and other medications for my heart, kidneys and blood thinners. I expected more out of life. But there are people who have it worse than I do, at least I have a roof over my head. I wish I could afford to pay for a place for her moms and her sons and her ashes to be stored, but my monthly medical bills overwhelm me. If only there was a way I could earn money legally, and pay off my line of credit and mortgage, but no one wants you when youre a senior citizen. They only want younger people.