Sounds just like my son! We also go the "pick your battles" route. With these determined kids people just don't understand that normal discipline methods just don't work on them, just stokes their little fires more in fact! But our spirited kids are the ones that make the world go around, their minds are amazing and we need to nourish their determintion.
I couldn't agree with you more @sweetpea. That fire needs to be nurtured and directed in a positive way.