Thanks to access to new technologies and the Internet, we enjoy a lot of benefits in different areas. We can send and receive information in multiple formats, entertain us and even communicate with people from all over the world. However, the Internet also has a dark side, that from which abusers and emotional manipulators hide and where grooming arises.

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Grooming is an Anglo-Saxon term used to refer to sexual harassment of minors through the network. It is a form of digital bullying, in which an adult or abuser uses the new technological tools and social networks to attract and gain the trust of minors in order to obtain concessions of a sexual nature.Grooming is an Anglo-Saxon term used to refer to sexual harassment of minors through the network. It is a form of digital bullying, in which an adult or abuser uses the new technological tools and social networks to attract and gain the trust of minors in order to obtain concessions of a sexual nature.

Some of the forms that grooming can adopt are the following:

• Ask the minors to send nude photographs or videos through deception.
• Obtain the necessary information to achieve a physical encounter with the child and abusing him.
• Lying to the child to achieve a physical encounter and use it for child prostitution.

The adults who carry out this practice use a large repertoire of manipulation and control strategies, as well as the habitual use of lies to attract and build trust in their victims. Below, we explain in detail how this type of harassment originates and how to prevent it.

"The welfare state entails the protection of the weak majority."

-Tony Judt-

How is the grooming?

The modus operandi of this type of abusers begins by contacting the minor to obtain more information about him, through deception and threats. For this, most of the time they use false profiles by different means such as Facebook, Instagram, Skype, Whatsapp or even video calls.

The first objective is to gain the child's trust. Then he begins to convince him to do what he wants, whether it's just talking to him or through gifts. And, finally he tells her that he is going to hurt him or his family. In addition, you can threaten the child with publishing the images or videos that you have obtained, in such a way that he feels blackmailed.

Sometimes, grooming does not occur exclusively in the real world. The abuser can ask the child for pictures or make a video call. And if the encounter is physical, he may abuse it or use it for child prostitution.

How to prevent grooming through the safe use of technology

Now that we know that the first contact with stalkers begins through the web. To access the Internet, it is necessary to use technological devices, such as mobile phones, tablets and computers. Therefore, grooming can be avoided if we teach children how to use these elements. For this reason it is important:

• Establish safe browsing habits. It is vital to set standards on the time children stay connected and what content they can access. This encourages responsible use and prevents them from entering sites that are not safe.
• Teach them the use of new technologies. It is necessary to indicate how to use the new technologies, and that access to them is progressive, according to their age. For example, to a child of 5 years we should not leave it alone with a device and we must restrict the pages used to avoid being at risk.
• Teach them the importance of not sharing personal information. It is about letting them know that personal information should not be provided by any means. This prevents abusers from having easy access to material with which they can then be blackmailed.

As we can see, teaching them how to use new technologies and decide when they can use them and access social networks is up to adults. Now, there are other elements to avoid virtual harassment. One of them is assertive communication.

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Other keys to prevent grooming

Assertive communication allows us to express what we want to transmit to others in an appropriate way and that these in turn understand it. Therefore, it is a good tool to inform the youngest about grooming and all kinds of abusive behaviors and manipulation by other people.

In addition, through assertive communication we encourage them to tell us situations that they consider suspicious or that they are not very well. We even encourage them to tell us their concerns and difficulties.

Now, do not exaggerate. Setting limits does not mean not letting them make use of technology, as it is a useful tool. Among other things, for example, it promotes learning. Our role is to convey to you in the best possible way how you should make use of it and what things are suitable for your age.

On the other hand, it may be difficult for us to talk about sexuality with them, but it is an important issue. Therefore, it is better to leave aside the prejudices we have on this subject and speak with them clearly and simply, using a language they can understand and adapted to their age.

To prevent grooming, we can communicate what sexuality consists of naturally. Thus, we will encourage your learning about relationships to differentiate a healthy relationship from the one that is not. In addition, thanks to the establishment of a communication based on trust they can come to us if something seems strange or curious.

What to do in case of grooming?

Some of the most effective strategies to implement in situations where grooming is taking place are the following:

Try to stay calm to help the victim. If you see that you can not handle the situation, call nearby people or seek psychological help to show you how to act. However, do not blame or recriminate the child.

Complaint, even if they have threatened you. Do not respond to any blackmail. Complaint. There are specialized people who can help you and find the best way to solve the problem.

Seek psychological help for your child. To teach you how to deal with the situation, you can seek professional help. A psychologist will help your child understand the situation as well as teach him different strategies and tools to cope with it.

Provides security to the child. Let him know that he has your support and if he was the one who told you, try to tell him that he has done well. This will help you release some of the guilt you feel.

We can all be involved in a situation like grooming. Before feeling guilty try to find a solution and if you do not feel capable, go to a specialized professional will be of great help. You're not alone.

Finally, remember that it is possible to prevent this situation if you establish a strong foundation of trust and safety with the little ones, in addition to transmitting how to use the new technologies and what a healthy relationship consists of.

"If you are going through a bad time keep walking; the bad is the moment, not you ".

What is grooming you?

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Reference:

https://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/parents/articles/what-is-sexual-grooming/

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_grooming

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