The Dream of Happiness That Deludes Us
Happiness can be a delusion. Telling people happiness isn't the most important things to pursue (or even in the top 3), can be controversial.
Source
What does controversy mean?
The etymology (true meaning) of the word controversial comes from the root contra "against; opposed to; on the opposite side" + versus "turned toward or against", vertere "to turn, turn back, be turned; convert, transform, translate; be changed".
Controversy means to be in opposition to or come up against something which can change you, turn you, convert you, or transform you from your current position. When in opposition, on the opposite side, you are face-to-face with the opposition. Hence, you are face-to-face with the potential to change.
The change of information in our input of reality can be controversial, oppositional, adversarial or conflicting. It can stand against our previous information. Information can be true or false, and accepting either will change how we understand something more or less accurately. Truth is often controversial and uncomfortable, not "happy" or "feel-good" to talk about and think about. But denial is not the way forward, it's only escapism.
"Never underestimate the power of denial."
- American Beauty (1999)
Many people only want to talk about the good or positive things, or at the very least the "light" topics, not heavy or hard hitting aspects of reality to deal with.
Ever try to get someone to understand something, and have them tell you "stop bringing me down" or something similar to get you to stop?
I've heard it all when talking about serious issues that people don't want to deal with or accept. "You're too serious." "You're too logical." "Thinking and logic are false, follow your feelings for what is right and true." "You're negative... critical... judgmental... unkind... harsh... divisive... mean... uncaring... uncompassionate"... and on it goes to try to invalidate what I'm saying based on how they "feel" about the information being presented, or "how" it's presented in a way they don't "like". This is emotional mind control. Emotions are driving their ability to discern information, and they are fooling themselves.
When you talk about issues that matter, they want you to be calm and neutral, not express any passionate speech, or change in tones or emotion that they deem as "negative" or "harsh". But when you talk about "light", mostly pointless and irrelevant conversations, they don't want you to be calm, neutral and impersonal, they want the passion and the emotion. If you talk calmly or monotone, then your boring. If you express passion about a serious topic, you're too excited.
I'm not saying get overly emotional when talking about issues that matter, or be an asshole douche, but expressing a degree of emphasis and passion in your speech/writing when talking about things is fine. Emotions are part of life, and can connect the reality of what is going on by feeling it's affect.
Ever ask people what's most important to them? Like the top 3?
You will often get answers like, "family and friends", "freedom/liberty" or something else, and usually... "being happy" is last of the 3, if not the first or second.
Happiness is a top priority in many people's lives. After all, there is the great American Dream: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
But...
What is this pursuit doing to us?
Why are we focusing so much time and energy of this pursuit?
Is this pursuit and focus in life truly serving our potential?
Are there greater valuations for us to adopt in life that will lead to greater quality and conditions of living?
Can we simply accept happiness as part of life, and not a central pursuit?
Can we let go of our focus on feeling-good most -- if not all -- the time?*
After all, George Carlin made a good point about the American Dream, that you have to be dreaming a fantasy and illusion/delusion of reality to believe it:
George Carlin ~ The American Dream
Evaluating, assessing, diagnosing, judging, discerning and critically thinking about reality is not regarded as a high quality for many people, even though it is. Without judgment in life, you wouldn't discern one thing from the other, and everything would be the same, making you unable to operate in reality. Knowing how to think properly, and how to learn properly, is important in life.
Knowledge and science are rooted in the word "scio", which means to cut, divide, split. In order to know one thing from another, contrasting and comparing similarities and differences is required to see the variability, multiplicity and diversity that exists. If there wasn't this distinction, we would simply be looking at it all as one thing. We have the word "universe" for that, referencing the grouping-order category of everything "turned into one" (uni-verse). But there is more than just one thing.
There is much variability in life. Life does contain happiness. It's not only about being happy though, or having happiness as the a primary or top pursuit in life. Happiness comes and goes. Being attached to pursuing happiness is living in a delusional mindset of chasing after a "feel-good" state, like a drug. There are more important things to pursue.
How about more truth and morality being pursued, moreso than happiness? That way we can change the world for the better, rather than ignoring what's going on, avoiding or denying the negative, just so we can be "happy" in our little bubbles of reality and "positivity", "feeling-good" about ourselves and our lives. Escaping into "happiness" while the world burns is still going to get you burned in the end. We want to be happy, to feel-good, certainly, but having that goal as a pursuit in itself can blind us into a fantasy reality.
Thank you for your time and attention. Peace.
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YESSSSSS
Ah, happiness. And "the pursuit of happiness."
A while back, I had an interesting exchange with @katharsisdrill (a fellow Dane) about the whole notion of happiness.
Perhaps one of the problems people run into is approaching happiness like it's a "product;" a "thing" you can actually have and keep and do something with. But that isn't really happiness... happiness is this strange amalgam of experiences and moments that perhaps lead to a deeper background feeling of contentment; that thing I experience when I sit on the back porch at the end of day and think "This was a GOOD day!"
Now, if come backwards into your post, that "good day" can often be a mix of things like knowing we took "Right Action" on some issue today, and helped somebody, or acted consciously to the best of our ability. Or maybe we simply enjoyed the act of tossing a ball with our kids for an afternoon.
Yup, happiness can be derived from many things. But doing those things just to be happy as the pursuit shouldn't be the reason we do things or not.
This ties in heavily with the posts I did on binding demons and angels to us. We make so many agreements (many forced upon us at an early age) I really believe most of us don't understand what it takes to even be happy. We try to feed the programs bound to us, and so often once we achieve the goal to feed them we feel a dissatisfaction most will never understand.
It is this misunderstanding that is probably the biggest impediment to most being happy. The grass will always be just a bit greener over there, if we jump through one more hoop. Experience one more hedonistic experience. Me me me me me, or should I say, my program my program my program...
Enlightenment or happiness. I will pursue the former. :)
Education is the cause of liberty and freedom and not the other way around. That is also true of happiness. That which makes you free, makes you happy. Enlightenment is the choice for me.
Not sure I completely agree with this. The part I know I disagree with is that enlightenment is a happy thing. It is more of a surrender of ego to what is, good or bad.
As for education being the cause of liberty and freedom, I will have to give this some thought. It appears to me that many of those who seek to impose their will on my sweat and freedom are educated, whereas I know many not so educated people who never have sought to take my freedom.
I think many realize that freedom is a tough road, harsh in a way many people are frightened of. Which is why they so easily trade their (and their neighbors) liberty in exchange for the path of least resistance.
Depends on what you think educated means. Lots of buffoons wear ties and go to universities. They receive a piece of paper and many call that educated. To me it amount to training. Like what you give to circus animals.
I bet those not so educated people who never have tried to take your freedom have more actions showing education than the tie wearing buffoons I met in college. Sometimes the value you find in human beings is what they have not.
That's a good analogy. They both reside within, while "demons" are the unconscious, subconscious, involuntary, programmed and conditioned modalities, and "angels" are the conscious, willful, voluntary choice to do and be.
Enlightenment intro the light of what's real, good and true is the ultimate path to being happy :)
"Happiness is the successful state of life, pain is an agent of death. Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values. A morality that dares to tell you to find happiness in the renunciation of your happiness — to value the failure of your values — is an insolent negation of morality. A doctrine that gives you, as an ideal, the role of a sacrificial animal seeking slaughter on the altars of others, is giving you death as your standard. By the grace of reality and the nature of life, man — every man — is an end in himself, he exists for his own sake, and the achievement of his own happiness is his highest moral purpose.
But neither life nor happiness can be achieved by the pursuit of irrational whims. Just as man is free to attempt to survive in any random manner, but will perish unless he lives as his nature requires, so he is free to seek his happiness in any mindless fraud, but the torture of frustration is all he will find, unless he seeks the happiness proper to man. The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live."
Ayn Rand, For the New Intellectual, 123
I agree and disagree with how some things are stated. Someone playing video games all their lives because it makes them happy would be an whim, desire, but not conducive to a real higher purpose in life, despite it not being immoral and hence being moral. Simply pursuing things that make us happy is not the higher moral purpose. Living morally is the highest moral purpose.
everything you wrote is true. However happiness is important. the older one gets- looking back on a life lived with truth, morals, doing the right thing- is not going to compensate for a life of misery either. So I would have to dis-agree. I think Happiness is in the top 3. It is YOUR LIFE. Most of what makes people Miserable- is them being told they have to do the right thing for those miserable bastards around them- BECAUSE- they are your----- whatever- fill in the blank. So it becomes part of the CONTROL GRID to give your life away by doing right for others. and the GUILT trip- if you try to pursue your own happiness.
Although I agree HEDONISM & ESCAPISM & ABANDONING Others is not the answer either.
But with this post, much of what you write is true- BUT I disagree with the basic premise completely.
"Most of what makes people Miserable- is them being told they have to do the right thing for those miserable bastards around them- BECAUSE- they are your----- whatever- fill in the blank."
I get why you think this. However who is the one creating the guilt. Who is the one listening to being told _____. At some point people need to realize that the misery is of there own making. People believe what they want and project onto those around them the responsibility for when they don't like the results.
The cool thing for me is that I know I am the originator of the emotional experience. This empowers me to be the one who can make the difference. If it is always based on what someone else thinks says or does, than I take the power away from myself. If it is me, I can make a change and I have the right to change myself. Don't have any right to try to make others change however. I also noticed that while I was doing it I was pretty miserable.
I like having the power so much now, that everything is my fault.LOLOLOL
agreed
You're life won't be miserable if you live it by doing what's right, good and true ;) It's about not doing harm to others, that's what's right. You don't have to bend over backwards to serve others... Happiness happens, it's not a goal to do things only because they make one happy. Rape, theft or a life of gaming can make people happy. It doesn't make it worthwhile pursuits in life.
True but it also depends upon the hand one is dealt. Not just how one deals with the hand they are dealt.
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"Accepting your experience of life as being great and wonderful is the single greatest thing you can do for your happiness."
“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” -Albert Camus