RE: Reprogramming Your Mind Day 17: It's almost three weeks, why hasn't it been three weeks.
Hey man, great going. I don't know how long you plan to be celibate but a month is easy. I went a year once.
It started with not getting laid for a while and increasingly depraved and depressing choices in pornography. And in a moment I saw that I didn't understand a basic human desire like sex at all. And maybe instead of mindlessly indulging every urge maybe I could understand better with intentional abstinence.
That however didn't feel enough like a choice to me since my lack of confidence was preventing me getting laid. So celibacy it was.
Like you I first found it easy to just refocus all that extra energy into work. But that wasn't enough. I started making art again which was actually quite zen and allowed me to slow my mind to a point I could analyze my feelings and channel them into something productive.
Today I don't stress over sex in the least bit. In fact there are quite a few women that love LOVE me. And with age I've come to know that for me at least sex without love is meaningless.
In fact I think possibly I've trained myself to not enjoy sex without love to such a point that when I have sex now it's like that mind blowing fuck each other into a puddle and gain infinite knowledge of the universe kind of sex. Every time.
thanks for sharing @naturowlmystic. Really nice to hear another mans perspective on this. I notice a lot of times I have craving for sex and I'm not even horny. I think part of it is a desire for intimacy and physical touch while another part comes from a mental desire that I need to have sex to be masculine.
I'm going to keep at it and see where it goes. Thanks for your support friend :)
Bro, that right there is profound as shit. Even babies die without love and affection. It took me nearly 10 years to figure out that bit.
During my year I became such an adept hugger that people's faces would light up when they saw me, buy me beers, etc. Just for hugs.
Years later I was reading either Alan watts or Seneca when this intimacy issue arose in my mind and so much became clear in that instant.
You figured it out in less than three weeks lol. You're like the Steven hawking of celibacy hahaha
:)