RE: If you die prematurely, don't you prefer to die for something that's worth it?
Yeah, smoking is a bitch. I took it up as a kid (seemed like everyone smoked back then). I ignored the handicap it gave me in martial arts, especially at first when it involved sport matches. My hamster told me to devise ways to score quickly so my breath wasn't a factor.
Fast forward just shy of 40 years of smoking now and damn. Almost unnoticeable until I lay down. Then comes the congestion and wheezing. I have quit a couple of times, but was stupid and picked it back up. Always the hamster whispering in times of stress that I deserved it.
I am about to move to a non smoking dwelling, and plan on weaning myself off again using a vape. But I suspect those aren't to good for me either, so hoping to at some point wean myself off of that too down the road. Before my time, but not much and influenced all the adults as I was growing up I am sure.
Yeah it's nuts, even doctors used to say they were healthy :/
I hope you do quit. Health and long-term living is more important than any temporary short-term pleasure. Maybe beat that into your conscious and subconscious enough so that it motivates a permanent change. You're worth more than the cigarettes or pleasure you derive. Good luck.