This was my largest obstacle when I first got on the internet and found the "lightworker" communities. I saw the majority of them were faking it. I have no doubt that they had good hearts, were desperate for life to be as they claimed. Yet they ignored the evil, ignored their own participation in it as if they could wish it away by not acknowledging it.

I love the idea of light worker, but remain unconvinced it could ever be a permanent state for a community. I have resigned myself to giving when I can without an entitlement attitude, hoping maybe others can be touched by it when I can have the gesture and perhaps will do the same for someone else.

I try to have compassion as it is indeed an OH SHIT moment when you realize there is no cavalry showing up to walk you by the hand to the promised land and whatever glimpses and touches of it you encounter will mostly be from your own doing.