the understanding on how to live in modern society has developed in a way that works the best in a large scale,ofcourse you have to have boundaries that will set how society will work , in these topics it is hard to talk about small amount of people, or focus on certain topics because everything you change in a system will affect everything else. And yes there is alot of problems and people are told how to live, because thats is what we need, people have to have a system and if this one is working well enough its gonna be used, people are easy to manipulate and if the system is wrong then it will fail and new system will evolve, sometimes better one, sometimes worse. People have to be aware of the rules how to live, but you definitely shouldn't follow everything blindly you come across, you have to be aware whats the goal of the system you are following