How I was, am and will be

Pretty soon I am going to start the drive to the airport to pick up @galenkp and I am actually a little bit nervous. Weird to be nervous to see family isn't it? It has been 12 years (2006) which is a long time thinking that the first iPhone was released in 2007 and Bitcoin began in 2009. I wonder, how much have we changed?

We are not static and even though who we are might not change as we are always us, How we are can change incredibly through experience. The person I was 12 years ago may be fundamentally different to who I am now. Actually, I really hope I am different as I don't want to be the same, I want to grow and expand as the way I see it, to stop growing as a person means to live a life, dead.

Of course, there are many similarities to how I was then and now as personality plays a role in the paths one takes. Two people can experience identical events and come away changed in completely different ways. The example model I hold for this process is those who made it out the Nazi death camps and their lives after. There were two core types based on how they identified with their experience. One group saw themselves as survivors, the other as victims.

The survivors on average went on to live healthier lives with much better personal relationships than those of the victims who tended to create broken relationships. From the research I have read (I will find it later), the distinction was quite stark. Are you a survivor of circumstance, or a victim?

I do not think this is a personality trait set in stone as when I was much younger, I was victimized by life but as I studied myself, my understanding grew into the attitude of a survivor. The why me? was replaced by the Is what it is view. This doesn't mean I do not act, quite the opposite. I tend to now accept circumstances however painful as a challenge to act upon, not one that is outside of my control and I am powerless to combat. What I find that even when I can do nothing, my perspective and attitudes shift enough to make the most out of the situation I face.

I do not know if everyone experiences this but I think it is possible for anyone to shift their attitudes to improve their lives but it seems that the ones who need it the most are also the most unwilling to really investigate their position and attempt different. Often, the victim mentality kicks in at the first hurdles and say, I have tried and failed because of who I am. Maybe that is true but, what about how they am?

Over the next week it is going to be interesting to get to know my brother again, to forget about how I knew him then and instead learn how he is now. He is the same person but, he could be operating fundamentally differently. I wonder how much I have changed in his eyes too but, it doesn't really matter as at the end of the day, it is my attitude toward me that affects my behaviour the most.

I hope that I am improving each day and rather than just being a survivor of challenge, become a creator of opportunity. No matter how long or short a life is, none of us are completely helpless. How we see the world changes how we act, and how we act changes the world in which we live.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]