Picking up the chisel

We are whole, complete, unbroken. Always.

At times though, it can appear that we have been chiseled away at, carved and etched with our history, experience and all of the influences that have left a mark on who we are.

I was thinking today about how we grow, learn and act in our experience. I believe that we are whole and all sides of us make that up but, what is seen at any given time is situational, dependent on our current mental state, who we are with, our immediate needs and long-term goals. The dynamics of the moment.

I see that our past, present and future selves are all one with some parts of our past carried forward and still applied, and others left dormant, but still part of the whole.

I was thinking though, what would happen if we could take that whole and break parts away, carve to reveal what lays beneath. The chisel in hand is our actions and thoughts and how we face experience.

I kept it simple and looked at my good sides and bad sides and imagined if I chipped away all that was good, discarded it like scrap, what would be left? All that is bad I assume. What does that then make me? Of course, this works the other way also, remove the bad and all that is left is good.

This thought process of negation reminded me of a quote I heard from Michelangelo about seeing an angel in the marble and setting him free. A beautiful sentiment but not applicable to a human.

Is there an angel in me, or a devil? I would suggest both. I do not want to get into the religious connotations of the words but the personal and subjective ideas instead. To me, what is good and bad? To what standards do I hold myself, what promises do I intend to keep?

More important than the answers are the actions, for a bit at a time, both good and bad can become normalized. Small actions that push either way start to wear the stone, make grooves and then habits form, ruts become trenches.

When both concepts lay within us at all times, the thing that dictates which side is shown is us, the sculptor, the artist. We can hide and reveal parts of us through our actions, our words and of course, our thoughts. Or, we can stand back and let others carve our stone, let time wear it away and allow the grooves of experience to choose instead.

No matter how skilled we are, we can never know the true depth of ourselves as to know that is to know eternity, all is possible within the marble until the chisel gets to work.

Again though, this concept is not completely applicable to who we are, for the marble cannot rebuild, what has been taken is gone. The human however is capable and psychologically strong enough to heal almost any mental or emotional wound, whether inflicted by another or the self.

But, I was thinking on what I show, how my words carve who I am. How do I use my chisel to reveal myself. Am I good? Not wholly. I do not always act to my own expectations and standards of myself. I fail often, I do not always act well. I am not ashamed, it is part of me. But it is a part I need not utilise through practice.

The impatience, the anger, the jealousy, the callousness, the laziness, the resentful, the stubborn, the fear. I am capable of them all and have exercised all on occasion. This is me.

If I do not acknowledge these sides of who I am, the grooves get deeper and the actions become automatic and those parts overpower the others. Soon, for all intents and purposes, my actions become me, although I am capable of much more.

One action leads to another and if the short-term desires take precedence over the long-term, what gets chipped away is likely to become a slippery slope and the climb back can be long and difficult. But never impossible.

Goodness too can be let go as pride and hubris fails to recognize the small actions that chip away at what once was and slowly spins the statue to reveal another side. A darker side.

Personally, I do not believe there are two sides to us, there is just one surface. However, not all parts can be shown simultaneously. No matter how good one appears, they have the capacity to do great harm and no matter how evil another, great compassion is also possible.

We are all complete, all equal in this but our experience and understanding of ourselves varies greatly, as does our skill with a chisel.

Yet, we are not statues, we do not make ourselves. We, are already made. But, life is to become the artist and the greatest know themselves deeply for they are humble. They stand back from themselves, walk around and get a complete view of who they are and where the strengths lie, and where care must be taken.

And then they set to work to create the grooves that lets their power shine, fill in their weakness, and perhaps finally, spin the sphere of themselves to reveal their beauty. Only through understanding and exploration, can this become a choice.

But with ignorance, 'This is who I am' seems a valid excuse.

We are all capable of much more, we can all be compassionate, fearless, loving. This takes practice too. Small actions, become great lives.

Taraz
[ a Steem original ]