A Desperate Venezuelan || Reflective Monologue + Photo Series

mariapaola-ap (44)in #photography • 6 years ago (edited)

A Desperate Venezuelan

I have seen thousands of faces and I can perfectly know what they emit, but mine, I do not know what it looks like. I consider myself an extracorporeal and observant soul, which, in my leisure time, while I walk in familiar streets of years, I observe faces and worldly actions. I have seen the sadness they carry in them, raw, grim and cold. I have seen their languid faces, pusillanimous and cowed. I have seen ruin, decay and poverty. I have seen how the instinct of survival appropriates some bodies making them dig among the garbage. I have seen a whole but nothing at the same time.

Metro of Antímano. Caracas, Venezuela || 2018

It is sad to think about the daily life of my surroundings but difficult to avoid that filthy essence and indignation that it causes in me. I would like to have the power to finish my present, I would like to be able to help the most needy, I would like a whole but I do not do anything to finish it. It's frustrating not knowing what to do, not knowing how to start, not knowing if my contribution is any good. All this time I have eaten my mind of these events, but, it is inevitable to not think about it. There are days that I break and the tears burst, there are days that becomes anger, there are days that I ignore and I just read a book. It is exhausting to think about all this but difficult to evade as I said.

Some wagon of the Caracas Metro, Venezuela|| 2018

It is a great audacity stays here but it is also a great audacity who leaves and starts again. The feeling of comfort is harmful but it is also comforting. A lot of words that are contradicted and that's my mind, unbalanced and without knowing what action to execute.
This is me every day, talking to myself, trying to face the reality which escapes my hands. I would like to think that I am not the only one and maybe it is not.