Invasion of the Soldier Ants — The Last Stand

I LIVE deep in the bushes of Africa. It’s all relative of course. But at any rate I live in the bushes where I worship the spirits of my dead ancestors with a strife that knows no penitence.

Everyday I offer oblations to them in the form of a dead infant- cockroach. And they respond, of course, by sending my way one or two misfortunes. And I receive them with great gratitude.

It’s the reliability. Life with its vicissitudes can be exasperating. It’s nice to find a source that is constant in its dispensations. I dont take it for granted.

Well yesterday I went on my knees again and offered my oblations as usual. And what should I receive in return, courtesy of my great ancestors, but a host of soldier ants right outside my doors.

I smiled of course, and looked back on the life I had. It’s been short, I concluded, but if this is the end then I don’t begrudge it. I thanked my ancestors and prepared for the end. I gritted my teeth. I braced myself. And then it hit me.

What does one do when life throws one a host of soldier ants right at one’s doorsteps? You take photos, of course, no matter if you’re a clueless amateur with zero photography skills or knowledge.

So I brought out my uber super duper expensive gear—a mobile phone—and shot!

Look at those beautiful fuckers from HADES.

_{Persephone herself}

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NOW I’ve always wanted to learn to take decent photos, because I’ve always felt that as Africans, if we have any advantage anyhow, with our lack of wide scale industrialization and whatnot, it is this—our still untamed wildlife and environment and the attack of the soldier ants!!!

I mean people travel here from all over the world just to get a glimpse of these motherfuckers that are right behind my frigging backyard. Once I saw a beautiful snake, so green and ethereal I almost shed tears.

So I decided to brave the odds. Face death itself. Like a brave soldier that I am I stepped in the midst of the solider-ants. And guess what!?

Fuckers bit my dick!!!

Thankfully I was just outside the house. So of course I had to run like a mad man, clutching my trousers and yelling, FAYAA FAYYA.

But I did take some good shots—all for art’s sake. I conquered.

Look at them retreating. The destruction is complete. Take that, ancestors.

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_{And thank you for reading and looking!}