Be Mine?

You've been my muse since the first day we met,
Hopefully in real life sometime soon.
You were adorable, humorous, even the slightest touch of bitchy,
Playful and sweet, and definitely not innocent,
You got me (s)hooked from that first response.

My writings about you in the start
Were just sad, lonely, broken beatings,
Soft unspoken words from my heart.
You and I both weren't ever looking to be together
It seemed unlikely that we would even have each other,
The conversations we used to share were full of longing
It wasn't for each other, though
As we both had people our hearts wouldn't let go
And we pretended that we were that other person instead.

"No strings attached," we said.
Reassuringly at that time, scared of falling again
But then again, loose strings get tangled too.
We started to talk more, conversation flowed easily
It never started off as a desperate attempt at what wasn't there
It just became normal rants about our days, our friends, our lives.

The first time I realized that I may have loved you
Was when you always referred to me as a 'friend'.
And told others you weren't attached to anyone at all.
I didn't understand why my throat felt constricted
I couldn't comprehend why my jaw clenched and tears threatened to fall
When you showed me what you said.
But then again, why was i sad?
I didnt have the right to be upset, even
Because that was the truth.
That's all we ever were.
Friends.
And there could be nothing more.

And as the days go by, You've been on my mind more frequently.
Your name comes up in daily conversations without you there,
My heart beats a little faster when i see your messages,
My day seems a little brighter when I remember I'll be coming back home to you at the end of the day.

I was scared, and I still am,
To write about you when I was happy,
To note down all the little things i love about you,
To record how much you make me feel
Because I'm insecure, and I always have been. As I know I probably can't be all you need
And I'll never be enough to deserve the love you give me.
I want to be yours so bad
But you deserve so much better.
I want to make you mine,
But maybe one day you'll decide you don't love me anymore.

And that's okay.
It's okay.
We're okay.

I love you.
I want to experience your breath against my ear when we fall asleep in real life, not just on call anymore.
I want to be able to give you kisses and cuddles endlessly straight up when we meet for the first time.
I want to proudly be called yours and claim you as mine,
Because you're worth it,
And even if anything happens in the future,
I'm okay with it.

I chose to give my heart to you,
And I want to be able to prove it to you that we'll be able to make it through.

So, with all of that said...
Will you be mine?

~-~
A/N: Since today is Valentine's, here's what i actually wrote for my significant other when asking said person to be mine, and they said yes :) happy valentine's yall!