Masochistic

(Warning: Dark)

The marks are left by hands that aren’t my own
The sounds that leave my mouth aren’t by me
You misheard, you saw wrong
These patterns that adorn my skin aren’t my doing
These temporary tattoos don't hurt me.
It wasn't my intention, it want my plan
I'm just too faulty, it was just a short circuit
This isn't water, it isn't colorless
I have listened to you, i am not hopeless

Don't leave me again, although I thrive it
Don't hurt me again, even though i love it

I want you to hit me, I want you to love me.
I want you to strangle me, I want you to kiss me.
I want pain, I live for that
I want angst, because it's all I have.

The scratches and scars are all I feel
The bruises and welts are all I know
I've given up on those beautiful lies
I've lost all hope on this sweet life

I'm supposed to be happy I found a loophole
I'm supposed to feel relieved for I didn’t break my promise
But tell me why do I still feel guilty then
When the lashes come down, when my skin breaks again
By actions that aren't my own.