Imperfect sophistication - Steemit Poetry Contest #14
Imperfect sophistication
Of words that shelter from human storm
Or caress the soul, and could relieve her
Bleeding, so different and so equally warm.
In the verge of the night, when she’s alone
And darkness pours its demons inside,
Words are twines of a kite just flown
With which she whips herself to subside.
This is the imperfect nature of our kind
That even the most sophisticated thing we made
Isn’t worth the value of a simple gust of wind
That brings us the calm rustling of a grassy glade.
This is my entry in @terrycraft Steemit Poetry Contest #14.
The photo in this post is mine.
Thanks for reading! If you liked, please let an upvote, a comment or a resteem.
I love the poetry community here. I feel so grateful to be here on Steemit. I followed you :) You can check out my poems on Steemit too and let me know what you think (if you're not too busy for a noob like me, lol)
I'm nearly a noob too :) it's a pleasure for me to check out your poems
This post has received a 1.69 % upvote from @boomerang thanks to: @marcoriccardi
I love the second part, the first half of the first stanza doesn't convince me fully like the others.. which are beautiful. Human imperfection is also a source of beauty but the sophistication of our superstructures not at all. The best messages are the prolific and fertile ones like the one within your poetry. We could discuss a day about what you wrote.
In the first verses, there's some enjambement I put in it to make a discontinuous, hiccup, rhythm ;)
It's intended to be more awkward and "strident" to read ;)
Yes I see that... Actually I was more focused on the content, maybe your style choice contributed in giving me this feeling.. the poem is fine and beautiful Marco. When I wrote that we could discuss hours it's due to its richness :-))
This post has received a 33.33 % upvote from @spotlight thanks to www.resteemit.com.