A throwback from the angsty teen archives
This poem was written shortly after I had the medial meniscus removed from my left knee. It was an arthroscopic (thank you, @hayleeng!) procedure, quickly done and with a quick recovery. However, prior to surgery I'd been on crutches for five months. I was depressed because the injury made me unable to swim, run, or play basketball and volleyball. I was a very athletic 14 year old, but never popular.
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So, lonely and bored, I sat in my wheelchair with my knee throbbing lamenting my life only the way an angsty, artistic teen can: through rhyming prose. I present it to you complete with original line breaks, punctuation and capitalization.
So It Seems. . .
It seems no one is smiling
As I look around my room.
Their eyes are all upon me
And they share my silent gloom.
My parents have lain back down
To slowly sleep away the hours
So I sit here, all alone
To watch the dying flowers.
A chill, damp air blows
And makes me shiver up and down.
I wonder how much longer
My face will wear this frown.
My back is stiff, my leg is sore,
Pain pulses in my knee
But I pretend that I'm okay
To please my family.
Don't be afraid to laugh at this piece. It's ridiculous. I could tear it apart now, but I'd rather take a stab at simplifying it for your continued pleasure:
Post-Op
I will not learn the pleasure
in recovery for 20 years
so now I sit and bathe myself
in large, self-righteous tears.
My parents are exhausted,
I've been given sedating drugs
and I am really moody
but instead of asking for hugs
I'm writing in my journal
meticulously rhyming
because anything I say out loud
will rightly be heard as whining.
What do you think? An improvement?
I'm kidding. I was 14. Life is hard when you are 14 and your dreams of a college basketball scholarship and Olympic medal in swimming have been dashed. It was tough, but I got through it. Both the injury and puberty. If only I could tell 14-year-old me that now.
What would you tell your younger self if you could time travel?
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I'd tell my younger self put all his trust in the lord and to be more focused
That's good advice for many. Trust is so hard to come by for teens.
OK. It is ansgty and puerile...but I kind of like it. We all are like that at that age and it really shows how you felt during that time. Also it's nice to see how much your writing has improved. Your old-self would be proud to know how great you are now.
I think I would tell my younger self to let herself be young. And to say yes more frecuently. I look back now and I know I lost many opportunies for not being able to prononce those 3 letters together.
Additionally, fun fact (or medical fact): Laparoscopy, contrary to the popular belief and common use, is a term that should be used just for surgeries in the abdominal cavity. Laparo, in greek, means "abdomen or abdominal wall" and -oscopy refers to the examination of a body cavity by viewing it through an endoscope. It differs to the term -otomy (like laparotomy) that is used when you cut or make an incision to a body part.
The correct way of describing your procedure is arthroscopy, since they used an endoscope to view inside the joint. Hope this is helpful and not obnoxious.
This is very helpful! I'm glad you shared this fact! I think I once knew that term but lost it in time. I'm grateful to know it again.
I also deeply appreciate your response to my poems and growth. Saying yes is something I've had to work on as well, as is saying no.
Creo que no diría nada, @shawnamawna. Creo que la abrazaría, creo que le haría cosquillas para que su cara se relaje un poquito. Como cuando fuiste adolescente, nuestro mundo tiene un color oscuro particular. Cada experiencia es magnificada y sobrevalorada. De allí que cada experiencia que le pueda dar sea grata. El joven se cree inmortal, pero se siente centro. Por eso cree que su dolor sea superior al de los demás.