Missed Convocation

This wasn't a new feeling
I slipped into a state of deep breathing
Tears drying
Face tightening
You weren't here to kiss them away
I'm not sure what
Difference it would
Have made
I do this to myself
Push it all away
Push you all away
Until too late
Of a day comes
I needed to feel what it felt like
To convocate
Now it's too late