Where The Hell Have You Been?
Hello Steemians!!
I feel I need to apologize for my erratic behavior at best. I was on the cusp of posting once or more a day and visiting oodles of people LOL. Things were going very well. I was actually starting to see a very positive upswing in votes and comments. Then HF20 happened. I know I have mentioned it a few times, it affected me. To go from growing to almost dead in the water is not something that anyone needs. It affected so many people on the same level. Logically, you know you need to preserve and push through. Yet these things called emotions turn your mind a different way. You feel like you failed since you had set goals and didn't achieve them. It's a failure and when this has been a history for you, your brain honestly cannot tell the difference. So that it what started the whole mess. I doubted myself and lost my direction.
Then birthdays and holidays hit. I don't celebrate my birthday. Mainly because no one else celebrates it. My kids and my mom are the only one that wish me happy birthday. My BFF this year messaged me on FB and couldn't take time to see me. I try to just treat it like another day so I don't have any issues. It fails everytime. I had started having issues at my 'new' job about this time too. The owner of the company acts just like my ex-husband which means PTSD trigger. I spend most of my day in a state of anxiety that's unbearable. This wonderful shell of a human being figures his family is more important than any of us eating. I have not had a steady check since Thanksgiving (For those of you outside the US that would be the 3rd Thursday in November) That Friday was payday, I have gotten bits of it here and what we do get is well over a week behind. Some of the employees, well the 'managers' haven't been paid in 2-3 mos now. Of course everyone says leave. To do what?? work around here is scarce as it is and nobody wants a 50 yr old that can do their job and then some. Or they want fork over a living wage.
So to sum that up. I'm dead tired, no energy, no hope and a lack of direction. Believe it or not I do not nor did I want this to sound like a 'Woe is me, poor baby.' Which this sound exactly like.
This is actually the start of a new chapter. It's about damn time things start going right. I give and do because I want to, not because I am expected. I have always been that way. Once I feel I'm being taken advantage of then it stops. I need to work through this and work out how to take care of the issues that I am dealing with. One of those steps is getting back to posting at on a semi regular basis. It helps. Not sure about Mindfulness Mondays. I guess that would depend on feed back, but I do want to be more 'organized' in my postings.
I hope you all hang in with me even offer up ideas, have discussions. This is the part of this platform I like.
Until my next post....
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Love,
You wanna talk erratic? Check out my blog lol
Hang in there my friend, and I'll be here whenever you get back in the groove. Life can sure be shitty sometimes, but we know it always gets better at some point.
Hugs <3
It does and I know my erratic is no where near yours. Honestly this is what I love about this forum. I can just post I am having a shitty day. Someone will make a joke. Most people are going through the same thing. I really appreciate it all.
And yes it always gets better. I think I have 5 more years on this cycle LOL.
Chit-a-moon-do
I just made that up
I will be here and I get it. You are not alone. So reach out.
I will tell you . Shit is hard but never give up. Never quit fighting
Chit-a-moon-do?
You are such a weirdo! It's only one of the reasons why I luv you buddy :)
ROFL
It works. I goes along with something I do. When I start getting overwhelmed I shout 'squirrel' Just something silly to break the negative thoughts.
It does work to get people focused again. Put things into perspective. LOL sometimes we dwell on things and get all wrapped up that if we just took a minute to see what was going on we would be through it in moments
How long is the time you need to create a post @tryskele? A 5 minutes freewrite? If you can do that with your phone.. just do that everyday... don't over think about curie quality post.
Sometimes.. you just need to do whatever you could to survive. Think about people who has set you on at the daily auto-voter system☺
Happy Belated Birthday 😙 Wish you all the best, healthier, happier and mindfullness too👐
Aww thanks @cicisaja. It's honestly just making myself do it. Where I am working is getting ready to close the doors. I am trying not to stress and get dramatic over it all. It scares me for the after. Jobs around here are scarce and they will hire someone who is unreliable and is obviously not a fit. I only say this because I will see a listing for the same job 2-3 months later. It could be a game they're playing to keep a specific hiring practices to keep EOE (Equal Opportunity Employer). Who knows.
Too many things back to back
Things will fall into place... hoping it will be soonest <3
We will be here when you are ready to get back into routine here on the SteemVerse
Thanks @kaerpediem and I know it will. I am hoping for sooner too. I think it's getting to the point of a major life change. I know what I need to do mostly it's just making myself move.
❤️
Even with being late: happy birthday honey and happy new year! I wish that this next year gives you less hard time and more smiles. Good luck and stay positive and strong. Much love! 💚
Thank you @zen-art :) just on this I think I'm going to back to posting positive quotes or ones that make one think. 💜💜💜💜💜
Hi @tryskele!
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We all know the saying "Shit Happens", well that is just a catchy way of saying Life Happens. We all have ups and downs. Even with all of it you have managed to help pifc keep going and I really appreciate that.
It does :) I make sure I take care of @pifc. Yes we have our ups and downs, but it is one of the best communities around and the fact that we are getting people that love the concept. I don't feel like I do enough some times.