Sunday Musings: Dealing With Different Levels of Discomfort Tolerance

The more I think about it, the more it strikes me that such things as human communication and relationships are really a minor miracle.

Consider this: We take people from completely different backgrounds — with completely different experiences — and jam them together in close proximity, and somehow that's supposed to "work."

Beyond that, I think there is also biology at work.

Different Tolerances?

Here's something that has probably happened to you, at one point or another: 

Somebody is pitching a fit or having a meltdown over having to deal with something that seems to you like it is the easiest thing on the planet and totally routine. And you find yourself wondering "why are they being so histrionic" even though their experience in the moment seems 100% authentic.

People, of course are wired differently.

I remember as a fairly small kid feeling deeply affected by things that none of my friends or classmates seem to care even the slightest about.

As it has subsequently turned out, I learned that I am highly sensitive in certain aspects of life: loud noise (like a leafblower) sounds to me like someone started a jet engine inside my head... while many people barely notice it. Even a whiff of something strong/acrid like ammonia can give me an instant headache, yet doesn't bother many people around me.

Does that make me a "wuss?" Nope, just more sensitive, in certain ways.

Back to "People are wired differently."

Dealing with Discomfort

Of course, how sensitive we are to things operates separately from how well we deal with discomfort... which is the original thought that gave rise to this post.

Maybe we all FEEL (as a metaphor) the pebble in our shoe equally, yet some are able to keep walking till the get to the next natural resting place, while others pitch a fit on the spot and can go no further till they have removed the object of their discomfort.

How much of this is "learned" and how much is "biology" I honestly don't know.

I do remember being a kid in grade school, and occasionally our teacher would let us go home early if you could make it through "the quiet game." This entailed a class full of 8-year olds sitting so still for three minutes that not a sound was heard. 

Inevitably, the same kids "blew it" for the class pretty much every time, because they simply could not sit with the discomfort of being totally still and quiet for three minutes.

Of course, we see it in adulthood, as well: One person is aware that the room is "too hot" but just deals with it, while another feels "too hot" and immediately has to turn the world inside out to address their discomfort. We tend to be prone to labeling the fidgety ones "prima donnas" but are they really?

I suspect people simply have different tolerance zones in different aspects of their lives. For example, I can deal with many environmental discomforts, but when faced with a loud/chaotic sound tapestry around me, I find that I pretty much want to leave the room immediately. Some might call me histrionic, but the inner feeling I have is akin to someone running a length of razor wire in one ear and out the other.

Meanwhile, I will barely have noticed that the temperature in the room has dropped to near freezing and everyone in the room is shivering. 

So What's My Point, Here?

Awareness, and perhaps having a little tolerance and compassion for those who don't seem to experience life the same as you. 

None of this makes anyone "right" or "wrong" and yet I see people lose their tempers and get short with each other over minor details... because they are trapped in a paradigm of "because I am not experiencing it, IT CAN'T BE REAL." 

It's typically plenty real. 

Of course, there are those who use their particular sensitivities as a manipulation to get others to do what they want. But that's a whole different post, for a different day.

For now, let's just try to be a little more open to the possibility that we experience life differently.

How about YOU? Do you have any specific aspects of life and experience where you felt particularly OVER-sensitive, or IN-sensitive, in a situation where nobody else seems to be bothered? What situations were these? How do you usually deal with such things? Are you pretty good at tolerating discomfort, or do you move immediately to change things? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- be part of the conversation!

Animated banner created by @zord189

(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Created at 180708 23:37 PDT