Do you know what assertive behavior is?

Hello guys, Good morning.

Today I will write about a topic related to psychology that is much discussed, especially within the cognitive line.

There are three ways to deal with situations. The first two are the extremes and the third is ideal.

At the first end (extreme) the person is passive and never reacts to anything. He dies of shame and guilt of entering into a conflict and is silent. Generally, this person tends to be used by others if they have bad nature. It's that nice person...

At the other end (another extreme), she is aggressive and responds to the issues always clashing and uses violence, in the case, verbal, and can reach physical violence. This causes her to put things out, never accumulating anything within herself, however, can make her authoritarian and create much enmity beyond stress-related illnesses.

In addition to this form of aggression, which is direct, one can become an aggressive passive person, in which usually reacts ironically and makes a "veiled violence", ie attacks the person with irony, sarcastic remarks. This is done for as an attempt by the person to cover up their anger or grief for the situation that occurred, then it hurts the other, but in a subtle way, causing the other side not to perceive it as a violent person. The back door program made an excellent video on this:

just put on english legend to see this!!!!

In the third case, which is what is in the center (equilibrium), the person is assertive and speaks what he thinks without offending others, that is, manages to express themselves by putting themselves in their place and has calm to argue not letting them demote it without using any form of Violence. This is the way we should reach for peace in this area.

Here was a very assertive business meeting for both sides. The girl is happy to think about lunch time!!!

Those who react aggressively or passively may have suffered a lot and use this aggression or passivity as a defense mechanism. Liabilities tend not to want to go into conflict, yes, "learned" in some way that the conflict is bad, because when he entered, always lost, because he could not put well his arguments, or, was created in a family that has timid parents, so, "learned " With them the path of shyness. The aggressive usually accumulates a lot of anger inside and bursts 1 hour, offending people, besides having a "short fuse". It is that person that others are afraid of their reaction, so generally do not like to talk to him. It is also a mechanism of defense of the person, because this, being aggressive, will make people afraid to talk about something that causes conflict with her, and that fear, makes her feel less vulnerable to argumentation. It is someone who has a fragile ego and tends to be "violent" to defend it. This even works in the short term, but in the medium and long term, it begins to present many problems related to enmity and labor issues, besides having a very high chance of developing stress-related health problems. becomes an anxious person, grumpy, can present coronary problems.....

Generally assertive people were born in an environment conducive to speech in which the caregivers let her express themselves and talked with her showing the right way, if their ideas were wrong. However, we all know that in a good part of families, children/adolescents do not have this facility to express themselves and put what they think in the family environment. This creates people who tend to these 2 extremes placed in the text. But, for our happiness, there is nothing that cannot be developed in personal terms.

To improve and develop assertiveness, one needs to train their social skills. This is very well developed within the cognitive behavioral therapy in which, next to the therapist, she learns to put herself with empathy, correct tone of voice and develops patience to confront conflicts at these times. It is extremely important for a healthy life in the long run. It improves interpersonal relationships and can bring new and better job offers, as well as to ward off potential health problems.

I appreciate the reading and feel free to comment!!!!

Photo sources:
http://www.institutoeu.org/auto-confianca-ou-arrogancia/
Http://www.sbie.com.br/como-desenvolver-o-comportamento-assertivo-no-relacionamento-interpessoal
https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-illustration-behavior-types-different-kind-human-passive-passive-aggressive-aggressive-assertive-image61553265