Lonely kids - why kids watch YouTube and what should you consider (Part 3)
What counter measures can we take depending on who we are?
If we are parents remember this: all of the burden of relationship with your children is on you. According do dr Gordon Neufeld, the author of fantastic book Hold on to your kids, you cannot make love a privilege in relationship with your children. You cannot cut it off as a punishment, all what will it do will be further problems and shuttering of a trust. From my own experience as private tutor during my university time I saw that kids problems and attitudes are direct reflections of their parents. Only by observing this on other people I’ve managed to see my own problems and work them out. There is no point in completely cutting of the Internet time, although limiting it is in place. But not by timetable, asking or threatening. This can be only done providing more attractive alternative. I once read somewhere „for child love is spelled time”. Isn’t this true? No, you don’t have to sit with tour kids 24/7. But make time every week to do something together, even for an hour. Read, play, go on a bike trip, build something together, cook a meal, go shopping, go on a trip, go swimming, visit grandma, visit local cemetery and volunteer to clean up abandoned graves, exercise, sing, play instrumental, go get some ice cream .etc Most of those activities does not have a monetary cost. The only thing you will have to pay with is your time. I guarantee it, it will be worth it. Ask yourself and think how much really of quality time do you spend with your kids, and then make an assessment how much will it be till they reach adulthood. It’s not that much time as it would some, is it?
Neufeld also points to the wonderful, but sadly disappearing tradition of eating meals together. There is something about consuming food that binds people. First of all, you can talk about your days, share stories and laugh. Secondly, a family dinner is more probable to be healthy one. Resign from the company of tv noises during a meal time. It’s not worth it, and television will be there waiting for you always. Your kids on the other hand won’t. Pay your attention where it is truly due.
Another really beautiful thing, that I tried to introduce in my own house for years (as a kid) and failed, is what I personally call „a daily quarter”. Every day spend at least 15 minutes over tea, coco or cofe talking to your kids. Each separately. Private time with mom or dad. Work on every single bond with each of your kids. Get to know them, living under one roof is often not enough although it may seem like it. Ask them about their days, their grades, their friends, their teacher, events at school. Ask them if they like anybody. Tell them something nice, tell them something useful. Find the time. If you do this you will see dramatic transformation in your relationship with your kids. After years you will reach back to this article and thank me for those tips.
TO BE CONTINUED
Consider buying a book Hold on to your kids by Gordon Neufeld:
Hold on to your kids by Gordon Neufeld on Amazon
Hold on to your kids by Gordon Neufeld on eBay