Manipulation: Who is pulling your strings?
Have you ever seen a child throw a tantrum when they don't get what they want? Or maybe a lover resorts to some form of "drama" when they 'need' something? Perhaps it's a boss or colleague who gets you to do something you would rather not do? If you can relate to these experiences, you may just be under the cruel influence of a manipulator!
You're having your strings pulled!
So, who is pulling your strings? Manipulation exists where someone exercises undue influence over another through mental distortion and emotional exploitation. Usually, it's to control or extract benefits at the victim's expense. Imagine feelings of anger, frustration and helplessness one may feel in the hands of these kind of people; it's never a good feeling. We know that there is a place for positive influence to drive growth and mutual development, but then there is also another place of a selfish one-sided gain that often leaves one person feeling worthless every time. That's manipulation.
Source
Manipulators often gain control by detecting a weakness e.g a nickname you dislike or an embarrassing experience they were privy to. They exploit the weakness to make you do what they want and if it works, they do it over and over again. Do you know someone like that around you at work, on a social groups like Steemit, at religious places or maybe even a sibling who seems to want everyone to do their bidding at all cost? Trust me! I know a few and so do you!
Dealing with manipulation and manipulators requires confidence building. It also requires a deep and unyielding resolve in your rights to be treated with respect, to express yourself without fear, to set your priorities and to say NO without feeling guilty. Since manipulators often exploit feelings of guilt and inadequacy, you MUST deal with all negative emotions and build a better you.
Confront the manipulator with the mirror question of their request! That way some will realize the ridiculousness of their demand and back down and for those who don't, standing up to the bully is a safe way will stop them in their tracks. Believe me, manipulators don't like to give up their need to dominate and neither should you give up the confidence to stand up to them. So develop the resolve and the ability to say NO. If you need lessons on that, try two or three year old kids. Their "No" is usually powerful and compelling (I know this from experience!lol) Whatever you do, know that your dignity, your self esteem and confidence is at stake so, Speak up! Speak out! Speak confidently! Remember, anything is possible only if you believe and act on it now!
Article contributor: Femi Adelayo (Speaker/Writer/Trainer/My brother-in-law & soon to be steemian) - 📞: +2348033529826 📧: [email protected]
Editor: @mosunomotunde
Please resteem if you find this useful. Cheers and thanks for reading!!
Wow...I'm definitely going to resteem this. ..a lot of people have become puppets to manipulators.
You nailed the point
Like an adage says
No one will fight for you if you don't show the confidence and courage to stand up for your right.
This is 100% true. As I read through, I began to remember people and events. I can relate to the guilt part.
Someone once sponsored my trip to a five days training. And three of those five days, I was practically his house boy
On the fourth day, he asked me to iron his clothes while lecture was going on. I told him no. I felt guilty inside, you know. Like an ungrateful fellow. It look a lot of resolve from my part to stick with my no. I'm grateful I did. Because at the end of the training, I got a scholarship to a mini MBA program
I just had to tell myself that I wasn't in Lagos to run errands and all. I was there to learn. Looking back, it was worth it. He still tries to manipulate me into doing things for him but I recognize them now and always stick with my no's (mostly "I'm busy" though)
Thanks for sharing
Blessings
good post, I follow you, I'll pay attention to the way you post.
Reading this brought back childhood memories and I will be introducing a different twist.
The fear of punishment from parents could make a child to become a manipulator or puppet depending on the scenario.
I remember how I sometimes held my brothers to ransome for watching TV against dad's instructions. They would buy me all sorts at my bidding in order for me not to leak the secret.
I was forced into doing laundry for my brothers too in order for them not to report my wrong doings to our parents.
In order for children not to fall victim of manipulation, especially now that child abuse is on rampage, parents should strive at building the confidence of their children such that the kids know that when they err, they can still talk about it.
This will prevent the older ones around from manipulating them.