hi @winstonalden
very strong words in your post. You say no, but it seems to me to feel a lot of pain in your writing. Maybe you don't feel it because before the pain there is a lot of anger for what happened?

"The bond that unites your true family is not that of blood, but that of respect and joy for each other's lives. Rarely the members of a family grow up under the same roof". (Richard Bach)

I think everyone reacts differently to life and death, sometimes as a result of what we have lived as children sometimes not. For example, we have had a "normal" childhood and yet we have decided to have not children, to leave our homes, our families and travel the world. But there is no trauma behind it: just the desire to do it.
An important thing: I think a parent is not just a parent, but also a human being in its own right that can be a good or bad parent, but how do you know that in advance? Do you think doing nothing is better than trying?
a hug, and never be afraid to express what you feel!