I know this situation very clearly. It forced me to leave my family and not look back over 15 years ago. I do NOT agree that we CAN'T leave our family. Sometimes it REALLY IS the best option for survival (unfortunately). I also sensed (no offense) that there are some unresolved subconscious issues going by observing you on YouTube. Don't worry, I say this as an empth/intuitive/psychic - and OF COURSE, basically EVERYONE has stuff going on. But it's interesting how you can sense it in people. Keep up your efforts (as we all are) to keep moving forwards and upwards. Steemit is a good place to do that...