A Rant Session. Target: Star Wars Trolls

Sometimes, in your life, you just need to get something out of your system. Fight fire with fire. Stop with the reasoning and just have a good jolly old rant.🔥

Today's target: those Star Wars fanboys

There are Star Wars fans like me and there are Star Wars fanboys not like me. I try to understand a different point of view, but for today I'd just like to say to the fanboys; grow a frigging pair.

Let's break through the myths.

Myth 1: The Last Jedi is the most decisive film of all time.

No, it is not. Most people, i.e. people that don't feel the need to troll, thought it was a great movie. Not everyone, I must admit. Nothing wrong with that.

Some people genuinely don't like it at all, but they get on with their lives. Fair enough.

The people who really hate it are just haters. Not only can they not let go, they have to troll the Internet every minute of the day. Those people should be locked up in a prison. A prison especially made for these fanboys.

Who is responsible for all of this? I'm not going to blame one person. Just search YouTube for Star Wars content.

Star Wars 9 is not out for a year and a half. Did you hear that? A year and a half. It is not out next week or next month. It is out in a year and a half. So why would someone feel the need to make 4 videos a day speculating what will happen in a 2 hour movie?

Hey, guess what? Most of that speculation will turn out to be wrong. Completely wrong. That's after most of it is printed in the Daily Express. The Beano is more credible.

Those expectations will all be quashed when we watch the movie for the first time. They won't happen.

Myth 2: Kathleen Kennedy will be sacked because The Last Jedi was so bad

No, she won't. If that does happen, it will most probably be due to the fact that directors have been sacked midway through movie production (Solo and Episode 9). It's not a great record.

That costs money and whether you like it or not, money makes the world go round.

This could also be looked at in another way. Maybe these are brave calls that had to made. I don't know what will happen but it won't be because of The Last Jedi.

Myth 3: Solo, A Star Wars Story flopped because The Last Jedi was so bad.

Here we go again. Let's blame The Last Jedi for everything including my inability to find a girlfriend.

There is probably a whole host of reasons why Solo flopped.

• Change of directors
• Too soon after The Last Jedi
• Not enough time to market the film
• Solo not being played by Harrison Ford
• People not interested in any more prequels
• The trailers did not look good
• The film is not essential viewing

In fact, I think it's possible that the anthology movies were never going to do that well. ‘But what about Rogue One?’ I hear you ask.

Rogue One was a brilliant movie. I think most people would agree with that. I wasn't particularly that excited about the movie beforehand, but I was gripped throughout.

So perhaps, Rogue One overachieved. But as a Star Wars fan myself, I'm not that excited about an Obi-Wan movie. However, it may still end up being a great movie, if it happens. We just don't know.

For the record, I very much enjoyed Solo and I hope those that have waited for the digital release will enjoy the film.

Myth 4: Star Wars is going all Disney.

That's because it is made by Disney. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Star Wars always for kids? Or did I miss something?

Did we see blood or decapitated arms? OK, Obi-Wan does seem to have a track record of chopping off the occasional arm, but it was primarily a family movie. It was all it ever was.

But what about the fact that Disney are what is known as Social Justice Warriors (SJW)? I had to look that up. Maybe the woman are strong because the movie is set in a galactic war over thousands of star systems. Wars tend to make one strong

Am I still ranting, or have I calmed down?

I just need to check if I've calmed down or lost my edge. The main purpose of this write was to kick some Star Wars fanboy ass.

Hey, do you know what? It is now impossible to give reasoned criticisms of The Last Jedi. That's because that fanboys have killed the art of discussion. Completely. What is worse, is that I think they think their opinion is original.

“The Last Jedi was crap.”

Is that your opinion? Not constructive nor original?

“I don't care about Episode 9, because The Last Jedi was crap.”

Did you copy and paste that opinion from someone else? Not original, by the way.

Let's try to understand the argument.

Luke Skywalker grew up. It happens to us all. Did he get depressed and a bit dark? Yes, he's the offspring of Darth Vader and his nephew turned to the dark side. He was not the eternal optimist after all. He showed the vulnerabilities of a human. That makes a character more interesting. Anyway, Yoda sorts him out so it's all good.

Ok, I'm tired now. Boys. Grow up.

I remember one piece of advice and it remains true today.

When you go to watch Star Wars, you are watching entertainment. It is meant to be fun. Take your eight year old self with you. Don't analyse it. Just enjoy it.

I'm not here to convince the fanboys that they may enjoy Star Wars. No, they're unredeemable tossers. I'm just here to kick some ass and get rid of some steam.

Have a nice day.