Oh I think I needed to hear this today! I have a similar judgemental and scrutinizing tendency towards myself. And I really believe that others don't judge us as harshly as we judge ourselves. And it's better to do what we are afraid of, even if it comes off as shy or awkward, it will just be authentic and cool most of the time, and still better than not challenging ourselves due to fear. I totally agree with you regarding childhood traumas, it's so true. I think we all had some of those in some form. We have to re-nurture and re-teach ourselves, to change the patterns that have gone wrong in the past. I think it's not easy. But I always try to remind myself of the saying, that 'if you just knew how easily they forget the dead, you wouldn't care about what everyone else thinks about you'.