What are some of the mistakes new couples make?

in #relationship5 years ago (edited)

View this answer on Musing.io

The new couples actually make lots of mistake. The reason is because they lack experience. I'm going to take relationships in India as an example to answer to this topic. I know that relationships are quite different in other countries but in India after marriage the situation is completely different. The main reason is because they are not used to each other. 

I recently had an experience where one of my friend failed in his new marriage. He was unable to handle his wife with different area of interest and they almost ended up in a divorce. There were not core conflicts in the issue but the only thing was lack of maturity both of them had. In India some of the arranged marriages have such complications where the couple find it very difficult to gel with each other. In most of the cases parent help them but there are also instances where even parents fail to keep them intact and they end up with a divorce. I would like to list out few areas where things can go wrong in a new couple relationship.

Expectation

The first mistake that every couple make is the expectation they have on their partner. We have to clearly understand the fact that the partner is definitely not the same as our character. There will be lots of difference in opinion and we have to learn to adapt to them gradually. Change may not happen immediately so both of them should have to patience to accept each other as it is. At the very beginning of the relationship when both are not used to each other, it is not a good idea to expect something from the partner. If things are not happening as per the expectation, then it can give a bad feeling and the partner may not find it comfortable. You can give the relationship some time and understand each other to start expecting things from each other. 

Communication gap

Most of the long distance relationship fails only because of the communication gap. If we have good clarity in mind, any relationship will work very well. There should be proper communications between the couple to know each other. When the relationship starts there will be lots of grey areas where both of them find it difficult to adapt. The grey areas gradually fade away only when they both start talking to each other very well. When the communication starts it should first be about the common interest both has. If both of them like movie, they should first start talking about movie and they should meet frequently in movie theaters. That is how they can start building the communication. If a partner is trying to insist more on talking about something the other person is not interested, then the relationship will not workout. With this open mentality even if both of them have two opposite streams of area of interest, they will still be able to lead a happy life as a good couple. 

Assumptions

Usually relationships are stuck with problems related to assumptions. When they are new to the relationship they don't speak out whatever they think in their mind. This leads to lots of assumptions. If there are more assumptions in a relationship, it cannot be a good relationship. There will be lots of doubts emerging between each other and the whole relationship itself will be questioned. It is good to avoid assumptions to greater extent and speak face to face. Maybe partner can assume things after a long term relationship because they will obviously know each other and will not have any misunderstandings. But in a too early relationship assumptions can become a big problem and can easily spoil the relationship. 

Not being expressive

The new couples should be more expressive. They should know the right instance to share their thoughts and views. In my first relationship, I had this problem. I was never expressive at all. I was assuming that my partner will obviously know how much love I have on her. It was not working out. We cannot blame to opposite person. It is quite natural to expect that our partner will expect us to be more expressive. If we put them on our shoes, we will also be expecting the same thing from them right. So if you love your partner, you have to express it multiple times and even in impressive ways. The strength of the relationship lies in how they express their love to each other. 

Forcing to have sex

This is commonly seen among the new couples. They tend to be faster than natural. If both of them are in the same frequency it will not be a problem but if one person is hesitant to have sex too frequent, then it can be quite challenging for the other person. In most of the cases the other person finds ways to drag them for sex. This can end up in misunderstandings. Never force your partner to have sex with you. It should always happen naturally. Usually men will have more urge and excitement than women and they tend to act this way. But there are also cases where women will be more interested to have sex and men will be hesitant. This is a sensitive thing in a new relationship and both of them should understand each other in this context and act accordingly and on any cause forcing should not happen. If forcing happens the person who is forced will not have a great feeling and they will even decide to stay away. It is always advisable to take it slow and let things happen naturally. 

Spending time with each other

New couples especially should allocate lots of time to spend with each other to understand more about the partner. If there is no proper understanding then the relationship will not last long. There is also a possibility that one person will gradually learn to live without the other. If that happens it becomes quite difficult to convince them back and get the relationship back. Outing is the good way to interact with each other. If you try any other ways, you may not be able to get full focus on your partner but if you take your partner out for a good dinner or some interesting place, you will get the opportunity to spend lots of time with your partner and the relationship will also strengthen gradually. 

I would like to stop with this as these are quite commonly seen mistakes that new couples do during their relationship. If they find ways to rectify them with lots of patience, the relationship can be long lasting without any issues. 

Image Source: Pixabay.com

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