Maintaining Relationships
Yes! Yes! Yes! Finally, you are friends with him/her.
Unfortunately, this is not the end but the beginning to something beautiful or disastrous depending on how you maintain it. I met someone some years back and she said it is not about having many friends it is about you being able to maintain them all and believe me its time consuming. I did not understand but now it is clear, for your friendship/ relationship to flourish you must be able to work on it. Sample: A farmer does not plant his seeds and then leaves till harvest time. He comes around to weed and water the seeds till he is able to harvest and this is how it is with human relationships you need to be able to weed and water your relationships.
The problem today is not about same sex friendship/ relationship but it is with the opposite sex. We find a situation where no one in the society believes a man and a woman can be friends without sexual accidents. I am of the opinion that it is possible to have a non-sexual relationship with the opposite sex if:
You understand the meaning of relationship. Now you have seen me write friendship/ relationship this because am from the part of the world that believes relationship connotes sexual or romantic entanglements while friendship is just ordinary in every sense of the word. Permit me to clear this notion: A friend is a someone other than your family that you willingly have a connection with, whose company you enjoy and would gladly provide assistance to when needed and vice versa. A relation is a manner to which things are associated or connected therefore a relationship refers to manner of your friendship which could be family, marriage, casual, intimate even sexual.
You separate your outer circle from your inner circle (Classification question). As strangers become casual friends, closer friends are chosen due to values and conviction similarities. Every friend has a purpose and if that purpose id defeated then so is the relationship so do well to understand and define that purpose. Sample: If Peter comes around to help you with assignments, stick to that and don’t turn him to your relationship coach. Breaking the boundaries in a relationship could lead to sudden death.
You distinguish between love and lust (sex). When we (men and women) become very close friends sharing and doing everything together at some point the boundary line become blurry and at this point so excesses are tolerated and we start saying it was meant to be. Sister/ brother nothing was meant to be; we often confuse the need for sex with the feeling of love don’t be deceived. True love can exist without sex and there can be sex without love. If you cross to this point it leaves the two of you different as your relationship has evolved.
You check mate yourself by having an external mentor who provides insight to areas that you are found wanting but take heed to know that your mentor is also human and is prone to mistakes as well as he also has blood flowing in him. Do not get involved intimately with your mentor because despite his vast knowledge and experience it does not spare him from being sexually vulnerable.
You learn to update your friend list.
You can also check out Starting a NEW Relationship — Steemit https://steemit.com/relationship/@dajin/starting-a-new-relationship
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