Personal Co-Dependency Story
I felt emotionally drained the entire time; felt like there was no space for me and that my presence was mandatory for her. Before, and even after, we had met we chatted every day. But after a while I didn't feel like doing it every damn day, so I didn't, and low and behold, she calls me out on it and says that me not replying to her messages one day out of 300 is "disrespectful", essentially saying that I am a person that doesn't show respect, ultimately humiliating her so called "best friend". Yeah, right! She clearly is immensely codependent as a person. And again, she just vanishes from my house when I talk to my friend on Skype for an hour one time because she says she didn't know what to do [without me satisfying her codependency]. I have realized that you just can't have any authority as a codependent, and I was codependent as well for human interaction (but not as much as her,) so I didn't say no back then, or had trouble to. I blocked her, but then she sent me a message asking if we could talk, and I accepted her request and talked with her, because I thought something could be changed. I began by explaining that my boundaries had been breached several times, that I didn't feel I had space and privacy, and that I felt an immense amount of codependency coming from her. She says she gets it. Now this: a day in she does the exact same thing. I immediately get irritated. I had explained I'm not OK with her talking about her sexual endeavors or whatever the fuck she's on about and what she's doing, but she still starts talking about it by making small "hints" about it, as if hinting about something you know the other person doesn't want to hear about makes a difference. By the way, it is crystal clear to me what she's referring to. Something else comes up and she humiliates me in an extremely condescending and obnoxious way, almost as if she's my mother and I'm 5 which actually sends shivers and cold sweats down my spine, so I just block her the last fucking time and will never talk to her ever again and will never talk to anyone like her ever again. I've realized that this was nothing but some artificial, fake "relationship", completely lacking of intimacy and connection, specifically set up for her to satisfy her codependency, enforced with lousy excuses and meaningless and empty "talk" about principles, relationship values and pure bullshit which were never even applied or actualized in any way anyway. An overwhelming feeling of guilt dominated for days or even weeks every time I had such a "conflict" with her. Fuck this poisonous shit...
/Regressive Eddie
