Classing Up Hook-up Culture

Growing up at a very small, awkward, Catholic school in the middle of Bible Belt Alabama, romance was a foreign concept to me even in my formative years. Unsurprisingly, when I finally left for college, flirting, romance, sex, and everything in between might as well have become an additional minor to me. For years I'd watched movies featuring some unsuccessful douchebag attempting to neg his way into some girls pants only to be mercilessly shut down. Then I actually witnessed the same situation in person only to see the opposite outcome. Just like any dispute between two parties, there is one side, the other, and then there is the truth somewhere in the middle. No matter how close you may come to pinning this kind of thing to a science, the fact of the matter is tangibles like looks, personal preferences, flirting chops, and interpersonal skills are all too variable to ever ensure the success of even the most meticulously and carefully concocted pick up ploy.

Despite the hopeless sentiment of that last paragraph, there is one tactic that has proved to me not only effective in the process of flirting, but in making friends and winning over people entirely.

FOR GOD'S SAKES, COMPLIMENT GIRL'S OUTFITS

I cannot emphasize that message anymore than caps lock can express, but don't just tune out at the point, things are a little more nuanced than that.

The first observation that led to the creation of this theory came to me when I was having lunch with some friends. One of them was telling us about a guy who was flirting with her and complimented her smile. Sarcastic as they come, my friend replied, "Thanks, I'll let my parents know they did a good job." As funny as that interaction was it got me thinking. I know dozens of douchebags who drunkenly dole out half-cocked compliments on the nearest remarkable ass or pair of tits, usually to little success. Your best girl friend or any forum on the subject of PUA will tell you that girls want to feel special. The thing is no matter if you're the only guy who's remarked on a hot girl's tits one night or even the hottest guy who has on one particular night, the fact remains the girl probably isn't in control of the fact her tits are nice. Even if she's proud of them that fact most often necessitates that she's gotten so many compliments on them to the point your comment isn't even special.

This begs the question, what is something I can compliment a girl on that is unique, changes often, and that she has complete control over? The answer is her outfit. Even the hottest, most well dressed girl at a bar will still probably compare herself to other girls, what they're wearing, and how much attention they get at that same bar. As illogical as guys might make out girls to be, they employ the same kind of guess, check and revise utilitarianism to the practice of dressing up as we might do anything else. If you had a good mother and any sense for matching clothes together, and can apply that same knowledge to jewelry and accessories, you can completely validate the choices a girl probably spent an hour making before she went out on a given night. This might not close the deal for you, and if your'e too good at it she might think you're gay, but if you do this right it can make a girl's night and if that's not the best foot in the door you can get I don't know what is.