What an unexpected experience and an odd one at that. Trusting you all well enough to just come aboard, be safe and not be immediately thrown back into the water or worse. Able to kind of worm her way into things or possibilities through suggestion. Attempting to get her way when she really had no reason to expect anything from anyone. The fact that she did think it was okay to do any of those things, in spite of her desperate or at least unfortunate sounding circumstances. Realizing it might not have been the first time she'd done something like that. And if true, seeing that she was woefully unprepared for anything she was doing. The fact that she could swim in cold water over whatever distance without a wet suit.
I've had people come up on me that I swear came out of nowhere and then seemed to just disappear the same way. Yes, at night, and with obstructed view, but you called your experience surreal and that's what it reminds me of. :)
This is Norway, we have a bit different culture.
I was laughing a bit with my Polish friend the other day about Swedes ... like, for one thing, hitch hiking in Sweden is nearly impossible. There is another story I read on a Norwegian that got water flowing into his sail boat so he immediately set the course to more shallow water while he was pumping and trying to resolve the problem. Out comes a Swedish land owner, waving his hands desperately saying ... "you're not allowed to sink here!"
I don't like begging and I don't like people begging. I believe most people begging does it not because they have no other way to survive, but because it's profitable to beg. I even feel a bit upset about them ... I feel I don't have any available time and so many things to do, but they're just sitting there the whole day doing ... nothing! What a waste!
Some consider hitch hiking as begging, but I see that a bit differently. It's a bit strange that we generally have a very high threshold for asking for help if we have any kind of personal problems, but quite low threshold for asking for help if we have vehicular problems - flat starter battery, car stuck on ice or in the snow, keel stuck in the mud, boat drifting towards the rocks due to engine problems ... of course we help each other and of course we ask for help (though, it seems to me that this willingness is being reduced over the time - and I've been to New York once, I wanted to help someone stuck on ice, they thought I was a madman, I was not allowed to help). I remember once we were out biking and we were extremely thirsty. Drinking water from the tap is for free in Norway, but still ... ringing the doorbell at some random house and ask for water, that really felt like begging. In the end we asked someone that was out in the garden, we didn't want to drink the water from the urban river, so we sa no other option. We got two very small glasses of water, and it felt like it would be a loss of dignity to ask for a refill ... so we left from there still thirsty.
I suppose there are some cultural differences. I can see it going a lot of ways here, including how you described it. More likely, though, the attitude of your friend would be the prevailing reaction and much sooner. She wouldn't have been allowed to hang around as long as she did, and she might have still ended up on the island. :)
Yeah, begging is a tough one. There are times where people are in definite need, though, like a flat tire on the side of the road. I've had that happened to me, and was amazed at the help I got. I didn't even have to ask. The fact that there really wasn't a place to pull off the road on a busy freeway probably helped. :)
The larger cities, like New York or Chicago are probably going to be that way. People just have that kind of attitude. Some person broken down or stuck could easily be a ploy to rob people or worse. There are still plenty of other places though where that wouldn't be the case. I live in a predominantly rural area where people are stopping to do whatever they can at the sight of an accident or some other kind of need. And they're quick about it, too, without hesitation.
I think those of us who have been taught to be responsible, to be prepared, to be as self-sufficient as we possibly can feel bad about when things don't go as planned and we end up needing help. Those who do it for a living or who blithely go around doing things they have no real business doing because they believe they can rely on or impose on the kindness of others—those folks are the ones I have more trouble with than not. I don't run across many like that, fortunately.