Braeburn's Premier League - Matchday 5 Preview.

The dreaded international break is over. For another month we can forget about the petty of squabbles between nation states, so what if England were cheated (I reckon) against Spain, who cares if France and Germany's nil-nil bored the entire world half to death, and I didn't even realise that Qatar had thrashed Palestine until about four seconds ago. Today the Premier League is back and there are four more matchdays before that much anticipated China versus India matchup!

Here's a rundown of the fixtures in matchday 5, hold on to your hats...

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SATURDAY

Spurs v Liverpool, 12:30
There are two stand out fixtures this weekend and this is the first. Two of the big boys meeting in a titanical clash. Two of the best young managers around, going head to head. Two teams that like to play football the right-way (apparently), expect more pressing than an ironing convention. A win for Liverpool will justify the title talk of their supporters, provide proof that Klopp's boys might have what it takes to be top boys. A Spurs triumph will put them right back in the mix, a defeat will leave them well off the pace.
Prediction...
Entertaining, goals galore, a high-scoring draw. Klopp to find something hilarious that isn't funny at all.

AFC Bournemouth v Leicester City, 15:00
Both these teams have made decent starts and currently find themselves in the top eight of the table but neither will finish that high come May. Goals will be at a premium, only seven have been scored in the last six league games between the clubs, so expect this to be last on Match of the Day.
Prediction...
Yawn, yawn, yawnity yawn. 1-0, 0-0 or 0-1, mark my words.

Chelsea v Cardiff, 15:00
Is it better to be just blue or blue and a bird? A question as old as time and finally we can find out the answer this afternoon. Although, to be honest, we know the answer already don't we? Chelsea are reborn, an attacking force, surging forward, terrifying defences but happily leaving gaps at the back too. Cardiff, are...? Well Cardiff are Cardiff and they should have sacked Neil Warnock the minute promotion was secured. Sorry Neil, you're just NOT a Premier League manager.
Prediction...
An enormous home win, pushing Warnock further towards the door.

Huddersfield v Crystal Palace, 15:00
Is Wilfred Zaha back? Does it really matter?? Huddersfield are toothless and the long march towards their certain doom continues this afternoon. If you want to stay up you really need to be beating teams like Palace at home, they won't though, they'll lose. With just one win and five goals in the last fourteen games, Huddersfield fans should be very, very, very, very, very, very worried indeed.
Prediction...
With Zaha, Palace to edge it. Without Zaha, nil-nil... perhaps Bournemouth Leicester won't be last on MOTD after all.

Manchester City v Fulham, 15:00
Goals, goals, goals, how do you like it, how do you like it? Fulham like to knock it about and are hopefully smart enough to realise that defending for 90 minutes against City rarely ends well. Liverpool showed everyone how to beat Pep's champions last season, go at them, give them something to think about, don't be scared. That said, it probably won't end well for the Cottagers this afternoon.
Prediction...
Fulhams consolation goal at three-nil down provides hope before they ship another four. 7-1.

Newcastle United v Arsenal, 15:00
Tough times at St Jameseses Park. Only a single point from the first four games and Mike CAshley (ahaha) is stilling showing no signs that he might fuck off. Newcastle will be alright in the end because Benitez is a seasoned campaigner but they will have to wait another week or two for a first win.
Prediction...
Gooners to continue their renaissance as boos ring out from the home fans.

Watford v Manchester United, 17:30
Unfair isn't it. Poor old United, poor old Mourinho, being forced to play at half past five in the afternoon when England's other three Champions League clubs will already be dunking their tired limbs in the ice bath. This is the second of the weekends aforementioned crackers, can Watford continue their relentless march towards the title? Let's hope so just to see what excuses po' Mo' comes up with this weekend.
Prediction...
Troy Deeney to bundle David De Gea and the ball over the line in the 97th minute to seal a dramatic two-one victory. Jose Mourinho's head explodes into a gazillion tiny pieces.

SUNDAY
Wolves v Burnley, 13:30
Everyone expects Burnley to turn things around now that they are out of the Europa League but everyone has been wrong before and they are again now. Yes, the Clarets were seventh last year but that was very much a reward for being the least stinky shit in the latrine that is the bottom of the Premier League. They weren't that good last season and now they have added pressure and expectation from the fans. Wolves are not a bad little team either, expect a regulation home win.
Prediction...
2-0, goal in either half, Ruben Neves to be the key man.

** Everton v West Ham, 16:00**
Marco Silva and Everton look a better fit with every passing match and the Goodison Park faithful finally have a manager that knows how to attack and defend. West Ham meanwhile are a shambles and the can expect the dark times to continue on Merseyside.
Prediction...
A regular Sunday roasting for the Hammers, going down by three or four.

MONDAY
Southampton v Brighton, 20:00
Mark Hughes (OUT) probably thinks two wins on the bounce will have started turning the tide of popular opinion in his favour. He is wrong. Beating Brighton reserves in the EFL cup and winning at Zaha-less Palace does not spell a great turnaround in my book, Saints would have lost that game 5-2 had Cristian Benteke not been on such rare, sitter-missing, form. He is still picking the wrong players in the wrong positions and ignoring the young talent we have at the club. Meanwhile, Chris Hughton continues to impress me at Brighton, fancy a move along the coast Chris?
Prediction...
Who knows, perhaps Hughes (OUT) will fluke another win but I seriously doubt it. Dull, disappointing, better off watching Eastenders.