My musing
Pride is poison
Perpetrating problematic sentiments
That are deluding you
Sometimes the best route
Is simply to let go
Cancerous conundrums
Emit from my brain waves
It's difficult to witness
My participation in my own demise
Blame is a cannon
Fired at an opposing army
In 2021
When cannons are obsolete
But they will still fuck you up
My potential
Has been squandered
For far too long
To turn this shit around
People think I'm a pessimist
Because I'm not fully an optimist
But the truth of the matter is
I chart somewhere in between
Living on a dream
The only way out of
The hole I dug myself into
Is to be authentic
To be my true self
And to sever the ties
That I've already torn
I am unsure
Where this path will take me
But I must keep walking
I will not turn around
A furtive advancement
I do not lack knowledge
I lack a usage case
for the majority
Of the things I know
So I will just keep walking
Through the forest of my mind
Though a real walk
Would be much more beneficial
I was once sharper
But I am alive
That is what matters most
But most
Don't care
Until you die
And me
I rarely make it to funerals
But far too many
Of you have left us too soon
I miss your contributions
To my life
That I never took the time
To thank you for
Or consciously consider
Until you had passed
Life kills much more quickly
Than any virus can
I wonder I worry
About my choices
And how much time I have left
I used to think
That singularity
Was a terrible idea
But at this point
I wouldn't be opposed
To uploading my mind into the cloud
And tormenting my self through infinite life
Abandon the strife
Put down the knife
The future is already here
The answers are still never clear
Time was supposed to solve
Much more than it ever did
But now humanity has willingly imprisoned itself
For the most part
So I can attest
That we will get mostly what we deserve
But there are some horrors
That not a living soul deserves
Flatten the curve
It's all rhetoric
Contact tracing
Is data for Skynet
To step into a dystopian novel
Without being able to step back
Is still so surreal to me
But I can't say it's really a surprise
It just proves to me
How weak-willed and brainwashed
The majority of humans are
To even entertain
The idea of the continuity of complacence
Tabula Rasa
I want a clean slate
I want it all back
The wonder of learning
Without the reality of who is control
Without Northwoods and PNAC
Without the knowledge of the mass democides
Of the 20th century
But it will never happen
Because I am human
The more I try to drink it away
The more that it haunts me
The reality
I am aware of
But do far too little to convey
To the people that need to hear it
Is battering my karmic state
I will always cherish
This majestic nightmare
The depths of the forest
Will become my home
The trees will talk
Without words
They are wiser than me
They are wiser than you
As is each mountain
And every stream
Some say it's a life wasted
But I live much more through my dreams
Than I ever allow myself to
In my waking hours
If I had real solutions
Perhaps I would be exactly where I want to be
But I need to be grateful
For the blessings I have