What are some tips for boosting self esteem?

in #self5 years ago

This happened when I worked as a GRE instructor in Madras.

Two of my students were dating each other. They always came to my classes together. They sat together. Their parents were aware of their relationship. I knew it. Everyone knew it.

Since GRE students are adults, no one made a fuss about it.

In one of my classes, I observed that the girl was sitting too close to him. They were too close to be okay.

I gestured the guy to come out of the classroom, walked him out, and told him in private that they should really respect the classroom and sit a little away. He nodded in agreement.

We both went back into the classroom. They changed their position. I smiled at him. The class got over.

A few days later.

They were close again. This time, I saw the guy pinching her thigh and playing.

I was angry but decided to give them a longer rope.

I gestured the girl to come out of the classroom. Same suggestion. She nodded in agreement, apologetically. They changed positions, only for a while.

During the last twenty minutes of the session, they were brushing each other.

I called out their names and asked them to leave my classroom. They stood still, transfixed. “Now, please,” I said sternly.

They became red-faced. Embarrassed, the girl stormed out of the classroom, mumbling something. The guy gathered his books and hers, scooted after her.

The next day, the guy’s parents were in the office.

The father was a very rich and powerful man in the locality, I heard.

I was in my class. Coincidentally, the owner of my company had come to Madras. So, the issue got escalated. The boss wanted to see me. The parent demanded that he had a word with me. He wanted to show that he was the boss of the situation.

I was teaching. The admin staff knocked my door and said that the boss wanted to meet me. I said I could not come out because my class was on.

A few minutes later, the admin staff, the boss, and the parent were at the door. The boss knocked the door, looked through the glass window, and gestured me to come out.

I walked out, a bit angrily, shook hands with him, and gently said “I cannot end my class now. I will meet you, but you must wait. I am sorry.”

I still remember the look on my boss’s face. A tiny smile crept out of his lips. With raised eyebrows, and a hesitant pat on my shoulder, he agreed. The parent looked bewildered.

He looked at my boss’s face with a little disbelief and adjusted his glasses, clearing his throat.

I walked back to my class. The class went on for another hour. The boss, the angry parent, and the student waited for me.

When my class got over, I went to the staffroom, drank some water, and entered the details of attendance in the teacher’s portal.

One of my colleagues said “Ben, you should not have said that. He is the owner of the company. You know his powers.”

I did not respond. I just smiled and thanked him for his concern.

A few minutes later, I walked into the administrative office. I was relaxed, calm, and composed. I knew what would happen next. I knew me.

Before I entered, they had had an agreement. The parent demanded a refund of INR 20,000 be made unless I made an apology to him for what had happened in the classroom.

“We know of the relationship. They are adults. They have their rights. You have no rights to send them out of the classroom. We have paid you. It is your duty to provide services, not teach morals” he barked.

I acknowledged him with a smile, reclined a bit, rolled up my sleeves, and looked at my boss. I told him what had happened in the classroom.

He said “Ben, you know what to do. Make a decision.”

I stood my ground. I did not apologize. The amount was refunded.

I could have been fired. I could have been reprimanded. Any sensible boss would have done that.

I worked for the company for another two years. No one ever spoke about that. Ever.

During my farewell, my boss mentioned the incident. He spoke of many things. He said “I was proud to be in that room. That day. I was proud to refund, for the first ever time.”

To most people here on Quora, and in the real world, I am nothing. I am an Engineer who teaches English to survive.

But there is something that makes all the difference.

I am worth my salt.

I know my turf. The classroom is my turf. I decide what happens in my turf. It is my fort, and I am the King.

I am the best there is.

You might be insignificant to the whole world. You might be a teacher, an IT specialist, a mechanic, a Doctor, a home-maker, a pastor, a student, a driver. Whatever.

The world is full of people who love speaking low of others. Do not lower your guard. No one is low. No one.

Everyone has a turf.

Know your turf. Be the King of your turf. Be worth your salt.

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