Too Much Sex

There has been way too much sex going on in my house. Maybe my house makes them horny. Maybe my house is just an open invite for sex. At least that is what they think. This is not a swingers club, and I do not appreciate these little mother fuckers treating it as such.

These stupid birds just keep fucking and fucking. They keep laying eggs. They keep hatching eggs. I have no idea what's going on. I have no idea why they are so horny. All I know is that they keep me awake. Fuck these birds.

Last spring, I remember hearing baby birds screaming above my door. This is the door that leads from my bedroom to my back porch. This is the door that leads us out to the Lake. This is the door that I walk out of to find peace and tranquility. This is also the same door that the baby birds scream at.

I thought it was over. I thought those baby birds had grown into adults and flown away. I was wrong. I woke up today to screaming baby birds again. What is wrong with these little mother fuckers? Why will they not let me sleep? Spring has come again and apparently these little assholes want to make sure that I heard the news.

I love spring. I enjoy nature. I love watching the flowers bloom and the leaves grow on the trees. I like seeing things grow from the ground. I enjoy planting trees, fruit, and everything that comes along with it. I love life and all that it has to offer me. That being said, fuck these birds.

I can't bring myself to move their nest. They're going to have to grow into adulthood and fly away on their own. Although I hate the fact that they scream at me when I'm trying to sleep, I cannot bring myself to risk their lives by trying to move their nest. I guess I just have to wake up every morning and say fuck these birds.

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