Ways to improve your baby's sleep

Well, I am laughing inside out to write this post because really, if there is an arch-null mother for the sleep of her children, it is me. I've tried a lot of things with more or less success, I'm going to give you here the ones I remember and who knows, maybe some things will work for you. For its part, Petite Gavotte sleeps better, much better than before. They make some nights of a milking (19h30 - 5h30) but others are much more funky (teeth, untimely gases, acidic ascents). What is certain is that, even if it is sometimes very difficult, we have managed to get out of the infernal phase since that famous night. Quit blabla, here is the summary of our little experience in the most complete disorder.

Let it cry. I start directly with the advice that we hear most often and try, even if it's against our convictions, because after a while, we're ready to try ALL. Apparently in some people, it works. Here, it was a calvary because it wasn't small cries, it was screams, strident cries and Petite Gavotte was literally in a trance. These evenings of "letting her cry" were the worst for me on a nervous level and even aggravated the problem because once she left in a lollipop in tears of madness, it was impossible to calm her down and we had to spend a good part of the night. On the other hand, now that she is almost 9 months old and asleep well, we come when she cries. If her diaper is clean, she has no burping and she laughs when she sees us, we are firm. We reassure her, kiss her and say clearly:"It's time to sleep". She cries or rather complains for a minute and goes back to sleep. There you go, let it cry and let it cry. Kouign Amann needed to unload before going to bed in the evening for the first few months so we would sit next to him to show him that we were there and he would not fall asleep. I don't recommend letting an infant who is all red, who is selfish and who doesn't stop because this one, he must have something.

A cuddly toy that "smells like Mommy". At first, I was wearing a t-shirt as a fitted sheet, but I noticed that what worked best was the t-shirt that felt mummy lying next to the baby's head. Little Gavotte always sleeps with it and she literally sticks her face on it. I had some cold sweats when I found her with her arms twisted in it. It's soothing, for sure, and she needs to get her nose under that shirt to fall asleep. Simply, I don't recommend the t-shirt, but rather a blanket for safety reasons so that your child doesn't choke on it. For my part, it's too late, she wants more than the t-shirt but I twist it around and tie knots with limited risk (but well, it's really not ideal). So that the object "stinks" mummy to the maximum, wear the one day and one night to sweat well in it and don't hesitate to wipe a few drops of breast milk with it if you breastfeed, I said goodbye to my purple Roxy t-shirt that I loved so much...
For a long time, Petite Gavotte slept in her arms, point bar. When she was rested, she would wake up immediately. We then tried different techniques to put her in her bed, the one that works best is to keep her close to our body for as long as possible by keeping her arms crossed on her chest and lay her on her side to avoid Moro's reflex (the arms that rise to the sky) when we put her back. The idea is to do it all in slow motion so the baby won't be disturbed.

A hot water bottle. With this hot-water bottle, you can warm the sheet before putting your baby in bed to avoid the cold spell when he passes from your arms to the bed. Leave the hot water bottle (not too hot, of course, well closed) near your baby to make him think you're still there. here, it worked out a few nights and allowed Petite Gavotte not to wake up as soon as she was dropped in her crib.

Cover her baby a little more. Little Gavotte needed an extra vest to sleep well.

Teach baby to love his bed. Little Gavotte stiffened up as soon as we approached her bed and she cried systematically in it... I followed the advice of a book (but I don't know which one, of course, of course) which recommended to make her baby play during the day in it, to sing songs to her smiling and to tell her some nice things when he was in bed. One day, Petite Gavotte finally found her bed to be a nice place, and I also recommend the bedspread with drawings, because babies like to look at them for a long time before falling asleep. Kouign Amann had lengthy philosophical discussions with the green monkey of his bed-tower Ikea.
find the right bedtime. For a long time I ignored the signs of fatigue of Petite Gavotte at around 7:30 p. m. because it was not practical in my work schedule (in the middle of the family meal) so I left her with us in the deckchair without noticing her signs of fatigue. And then I understood. I was missing his sleep train. Everything wasn't perfect but from that moment on, she fell asleep much faster (even if it was still on the breast) and even though she kept waking up, I had at least a bit of the evening without a baby in my arms. Since then, it's lunch around 7pm and in bed every night around 7:30pm-7:45pm. It interferes with the family meal, but if I let her stay awake later, she falls asleep less well and we can bet on nocturnal awakenings.

Teach your baby to fall asleep without the breast. Why? Why? Because when he wakes up, he needs the breast to go back to sleep because he thinks he can't go back to sleep alone. This was the case with Petite Gavotte. The number of hours spent in the breast to put her to sleep, I prefer not to count them... And once she was asleep, she would wake up as soon as I removed the breast from her mouth. For that, the Pantley method was radical and worked. I'm not going to give you a summary here but it's crystal clear in his book and easy to try.

Elisabeth Pantley's book: a peaceful sleep without crying. This book helped me a lot. I didn't read it in its entirety, I didn't apply all its strategy because I was too tired but the advice and benevolence of this book is precious. It reminds us of the fundamentals of sleep, such as rituals (which a multipare may want to zap out of ease) or the environment. Everything in there, I knew it. I just needed to be reminded of it. This book has been a real crutch and I highly recommend it.

think about reflux. In her worst nights, Petite Gavotte would scream as soon as she was lying down, coughing, grinning, screaming. We didn't know if it was irritating or something. The general practitioner I consulted for her told me that "babies all have reflux, it will get better with maturity" and "I tell you because you're a sensible person who will know how to handle it but let your baby cry at night, close the doors and it'll get better". Answers that didn't suit me. It is 2013, the suffering of a baby can now be managed instead of waiting for maturity. So I decided in December to go to a pediatrician who immediately gave me an anti-reflux medication. The effects were quite rapid. he asked us to regularly try to stop the medication to see if it was getting better but as soon as we stop, it's a disaster so for now, we continue!
put baby in her own room. For logistical reasons, Petite Gavotte slept in our room. When a baby is very small, I find it convenient. Over time, it became hellish because every time we went to bed, she would wake up.

Leave the hand. it was probably the real change that allowed Petite Gavotte to sleep peacefully. At one point, I stopped wanting to meet his nocturnal needs alone. I gave the place to MMM and he could take care of it at night. I realized that she didn't necessarily need to suck and that her daddy could also gently and firmly reassure her. it was a lifesaver for her and me.
the cododo. Impossible in practice for me because I can't sleep with a baby next to me. I'm going to fall asleep for a few minutes but I can't let go. I don't think that's safe. I also know that it works for a lot of other families and that there are rules to follow so that the cododo can be done safely, but it really doesn't suit me.

Stop breastfeeding and give a bottle with cereal at night. This advice was given to me for Kouign Amann and he did not work. I didn't feel like testing for Petite Gavotte so I didn't do it. Well, I must confess that when Petite Gavotte had a bottle instead of the breast after her evening mashed potatoes, she also slept better but I can't draw any conclusions from it.
music. To make it easier for Petite Gavotte to fall asleep alone, I put a music box on her at the last feeding and bedtime. I felt like it made her feel good and it worked a few nights. Only a few evenings, unfortunately.
the motive. I remember Kouign Amann who loved to fall asleep with his mobile phone spinning over his head. The technique also worked for a few days for Petite Gavotte but I noticed that it preferred the purr of the motor of the mobile phone to the music. Like music, very quickly, it wasn't enough but it's a technique to try when you're at the end of your ideas. On a misunderstanding, huh?
And then some nights, at the end of the day, we also tested the extreme solutions: the scarf (she sometimes fell asleep but woke up as soon as I put it down), the ride in the car (but getting her out of the cosy was perilous), the stroller in the living room (fatiguing and not very effective), We were so tired and nervous, we just wanted this poor little girl to rest, we just wanted to get some rest, we just wanted to have a break too....

In the end, Petite Gavotte started to sleep in an acceptable way from 5 months. There were still awakenings (and there are still some) but she could fall asleep serenely and we were no longer caught up in this spiral of infernal evenings. I am convinced that it was the combination of several things that made her sleep better: the fact that I let go and consider her as a baby big enough to sleep without eating at night, her anti-reflux treatment, sleeping in her own bedroom and the introduction of solid food. After trying so hard, we finally figured out what was right for her and what she needed to face the evening and night in the best conditions.
If you're a parent whose infant is having trouble sleeping, there's one thing to remember about this note and I haven't said it yet. Try all the solutions that seem good to you and are consistent with your vision. You also have to try techniques that seem a little less convincing because you are sometimes surprised and, above all, it's not because one thing didn't work out that it won't work the following week. A baby's changing and so much the better.

I would also like to add that it is important to be supported when things get too difficult. That sometimes, even if you want to manage everything, you have to let the word of some people open your eyes, that benevolent advice is often useful. Do not hesitate to ask your doctor for help, to learn from the experiences of others, while respecting your vision. If you feel you can't hold on, get help. By your entourage, by your family, by your friends, by the medical profession, don't stay alone, it's difficult and it's normal to find it horribly hard/unfair/exhaustive...

I go on to tell you that a baby's crying can drive a baby crazy, that sleep deprivation is used as a torture and that it's not for nothing, that if it's normal for a baby to cry and sleep randomly for a while, you also have to think that there's something wrong when it goes on for a long time and that when you're looking for it, you end up finding reasons and solutions.
I will conclude with a note of hope. Kouign Amann, 5 years old, didn't have any real regular full nights until he was 3 and a half years old (before we moved to Brittany in fact) and now he is the child who sleeps best in this house. One day, all my children will sleep and I will reread the old posts of this blog by opening big round eyes...
In the meantime, whisper.