The Point of View of a person with Social Anxiety

It started again
A day with the same content as yesterday
What should be more tiring than this?
A monotonous 24-hour surviving challenge once again
My life really had no surprises
That's quite ridiculous
Since when again did I start hating mornings?
When did I start anticipating for nights rather than enjoying days?
I'm thinking again
Trying hard again to reason out why am I living like this
Why do I love exams rather than recitations?
I'm confused since my classmates prefers the latter
Why do I love using my eyes rather than my mouth?
I'm being biased again
I don't want crowd, for I want to escape from every eye's vision
I prefer working alone, like how I hate bullshits around
I would like every school projects to be done solo rather than duo, or bunches
Like how i hate occasions in our house
Mom's always asking me to get out of my room
As if I'm obligated to greet, smile, and talk
Which I hate the most

Eyes again pointing at me
Why do I always feel they're guns ready to shoot
Knives ready to stab
Or woodpiles ready to beat
Do I have to bent my head down again to survive?
As it's for certain I'll lost if I raised my eyebrows
I just want a peaceful stead, peaceful, silent, steady
My life's kind of boring, never pleased of it even once
But it's my extent.
Considering if I unlocked myself, I'm afraid to be stabbed,
To be painfully wounded
To be bloodlessly killed
I set my mind once again,
I'm in a room. There's no even more lonelier than this, but there's no even more happier too
Outside was dangerous,
Full of wolves pretending as sheeps
Full of judgements disguised as compliments
Full of hypocrites acting as superiors
For once I thought of loosening the tie I knotted myself
I analyze my place
How does this illness started?
Is there no causes, neither reasons?
Or, am I even illed?
Is protecting myself an ailment now?
Let us say I'm really psychologically sick
Then I would say I'll be cured just as when the society got even better
Didn't you know they were virused?
Cancer cells keeps on spreading, without them noticing
Everyone of them enjoyed roasting each other,
Grilling each other on their backs
Wild bees sucking for facts and later use it as their card for shits
And now you're asking what's wrong with me
I would nicely refuse to join, I'm fine locking myself alone
But then,
I would gladly ask,
Perhaps am I really the one who's imprisoned?