Non Attachment; The Key to Happiness

 When we use our minds, we are either focusing on the past, present, or future; Or some combination of the three. The only constructive use in time bound thinking, is to process the past or make goals for the future. Far too often we spend endless amounts of attention and energy on thoughts that simply don't serve any purpose. Fear, anxiety, remorse, these are all time bound emotions we experience when we allow our attention to focus on our thinking. So why do we so often allow ourselves to get stuck in endless loops of negative thinking? After all, no one but ourselves is asking us to keep those thoughts in our mind. 

  I don't really know the answer to that, but I do know the more we practice awareness and non-attachment, the easier it becomes to observe our thoughts as just that – thoughts. 

  It is often said that fear is the opposite of love. It is also said that fear is an acronym for False Evidence Appearing Real. One of the main psychological issues still holding people back in the 21st century, is that we are allowing so much fear and negative thinking to control our lives. In fact it could be argued that unless something is done about it, it is ruining our planet. 

  The paradox of mindfulness and non-attachment, is that it's the easiest thing ever, yet it's not. It's a big failure that rests on western society today, that we are not taught these principles properly from a young age. Today, most individuals who awaken do so through a path of intense suffering, which was the case for myself. 

  When we attach an emotion to a story we have written in our head, we will always suffer to some extent if the event does not go as we would have liked. Whether asking someone out on a date, expecting a raise at work, or feeling like we 'know' what will happen, we will always suffer if we attach ourselves to ideas which don't turn out the way we want. The anecdote then, is to learn to not identify with our thoughts. Through sitting quietly and observing that the narratives in our mind are what causes our feelings, we begin to realize through practice, that we don't have to allow our thoughts to control us.   

  One of my favorite activities to help get rid of ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts), is 'The Work', by Byron Katie. Byron asks us to challenge our troublesome thoughts to a four step process: 

1. Is it True? (If the answer is 'No', move to #3) 
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true
3. How do you react when you think that thought 
4. Who would you be without the thought  

Now turn that thought around and find three genuine examples in your own life of how the turnaround is true. 

  The more we let go of our attachments and become mindful of our thoughts in the present moment, the more joy will enter our lives. Nothing really changes, just the degree to which we allow our thinking to control our emotions. When we surrender to the present moment, peace and joy is what is underneath, which unless we are in physical pain is a rather easy thing to do. It just takes practice.   

-Brian Johnson 

Brian Johnson is a writer for, and founder of Elysium Project. A collective of individuals passionate about fostering positive social and spiritual change in the 21st Century.