Hey bro, good writing.

There are some minor mistakes and typos in your writing; I would suggest double-checking before submitting, this will help to build your habit to check everything you write before sending out.

A few points that I would like to point out, hope it will help you in some ways:

The beginning: I think generally yours is OK, here is mine:

Nowadays, one of the most discussed topics is about the young atheles who have become the role model for the youth. In my opinion, I actively in favor of this idea, but it should be taken into account to prevent any shortcoming.

Your main paragraphs:

• To begin with: should use simple "Firstly."
• more wild -> wilder

The rest is OK; your ideas are well supported
Ending paragraph
I think it, is not OK to end quite short like this. I would like to discuss more about how to utilize the excellent point and how to minimize the disadvantage.

I would write it as follow:
In conclusion, young athletes play an essential role in shaping the behaviors of youngsters. If the managing company can cooperate with the school to promote the sport, it will bring a lot of benefit to the youth. On the other hand, there should be an effort to educate the youth about the upper lifestyle of athletes is not suitable for them.