Teaching a child the thrill of success is much easier once they have tasted the agony of defeat.

During my daughters first Jr. Track and Field meet (Kindergarten), I entered her in both the 100m Dash and the 200m for the school district. When we first arrived on the field they had all of the events set up for the competitors to get warmed up. Many of the kids did a light warmup then went back to the stands to relax for their event, but not my daughter. My daughter decided to run the hurdles, practice the broad jump, and generally continue to run around and waste energy in spite of my many shouts, calling for her to come and sit down. I could have been more assertive and made her come and sit down but I knew that the two races were separated by at lease an hour, so I decided that this was a teachable moment. I let her run around and play up until the moment when they announced the 100m Dash. I then walked with her up to the start line, she was visibly exhausted, her fair skin was red as an apple and I knew she was about to get a taste of the agony of defeat. Children are sensitive and as such lectures and yelling at them is not really the way to go, but letting them see the error of their decisions is better in my opinion. Below you will see the 100m Dash where my daughter got her first taste of defeat, I am not sure what place she actually got in, but I do know the the girl who won this heat took first place for the district. Even though my daughter was exhausted from the running around prior to the race she was not far from the leader by the time she made it down the track and there is a good chance she would have placed if she did not run herself ragged before hand. Here is the 100m Dash, notice how she performs here vs. the 200m posted further below:

After this loss my daughter was very upset, I started out 100% comforting her, then after she was nice and calm I took her for a Slush Puppy from the concession stand. Once she was starting to cool off and eating her icy I told her that there is another race to run. At first she refused, saying that she was tired and that she wanted to go home. I responded a bit hash to her on this, I told her "If you compete and try your hardest, that it does not matter if you win or lose, but if you quit you are giving up on yourself. Only a loser gives up on themselves and you are not a loser". She responded by saying "It's not that I am a quitter, its just that I am too tired", I then explained that every competitor has 100 reasons why this day is not good for them, how they are tired, or their foot hurts or whatever, but overcoming obstacles is what separates champions from everyone else. I then told her the story about how when she was a baby and she wanted Mommy's phone so I put it up on the book shelf where she could not reach it, and how she wanted it so bad that she climbed the book shelf to get it. I explained how if you really want something you will not let the obstacles get in your way, by this point she was smiling and at that point I knew that my coaching was working. Evie explained that her body was telling her that it was tired, the way that her body tells her when its time to go to the bathroom. After laughing internally, I explained that knowing and listening to your body is very important, but that in the moments when you are competing, sometimes you have to ignore your body and push it past its normal limits. I then clarified that that I would explain this more when she was a bit older and that we had to focus on the now, her next race. I then showed her the video of her race on my phone, I explained to her that she had hesitated off the line but then began making up ground on the leader. I encouraged her that she is way faster then she was running in this video and if she had rested like I tried to tell her earlier she would have probably won or at least placed. I explained that she wanted to play so I let her, but how her decision affected her speed in the race. I then told her that afterwords that we will get Ice Cream, but if she wins she can pick where we will go out to eat afterwards. Evie has a very competitive nature, this is encoded into her DNA so a loss like this is a painful thing for competitive people like her to bear. While waiting for this race to be announced I explained to Evie how this race was longer and was going to be even harder than the last one but that if she does her best and pays attention she has a good chance at winning, now she was hanging on my every word. I told her that I would run next to her on the sideline and that she was to run just a bit slower than the leader but not too far behind them and save her full speed until I told her to. I explained that this race was longer and the way to win was to save her fastest speed until the end. She said "Okay Daddy". Then I told her to repeat the instructions back to me, I do not remember her exact words but she said that she was going to run a little slower and stay behind the person in front until I told her to go faster, so I knew she was paying attention. Here is the result of all that coaching:

I am very proud of my daughter for this accomplishment, but I am even more happy on the way this all worked out. Basically she received a life lesson that comes with a devastating loss but also received the glory of victory all in one day. It was like cramming months of parenting and athlete development all into one evening. Evie already understands the value of practice and eating good foods but now she understands: listening to her coach, accepting loss, strategy, discipline, conserving energy and how to dig down for her inner strength. When it was all said and done, Evangeline Elizabeth Aiello accepted her Ribbon, hugged the second and third place competitors then we went out for Ice Cream and Chinese food.
While there are some people who are just born gifted and will be good at everything, most champions are developed. Training, education and emotional support from their parents is essential for the development of a child athlete. While yes my daughter has good genetics for speed and power, those alone won't win the first place ribbon as we have seen above.
I encourage all parents to throw this every child wins a medal garbage out and start programing a champion mindset as early as possible. A confident child with goals is less likely to fall into the pitfalls that plague our youths today. Please let me know what you think, obviously I am no expert in this field, this is all just my opinion and the way I am raising my children, but I would love to hear from all of you below, thanks for reading.