Just A Pretty Face? | Are We Missing Important Things By Taking Everything At Face Value On Steem?
Since becoming visual on my blog a few months ago.. I’ve gotten some interesting reactions. Most have been extremely encouraging and supportive.. some have been down right vulgar.. and a few have been hurtful.
I’m not complaining, I knew what I was getting into when I decided to start showing my face on the internet, and was mostly prepared for it.
While being called names like slut and whore could definitely be hurtful.. they actually just made me shake my head and giggle... I mean.. what about my blog and the photos I share would ever give someone that impression???
In fact while discussing this with someone on discord the other day they said..
Your blog is about as provocative as an old widow churning butter.
And I think that is pretty fitting..
No matter what you do in this world, someone is going to have something negative to say.. so.. knowing that I am not anything close to those names and don’t feel I am putting that image out through my blog.. I can just laugh and move past those.
What I can’t seem to get past?
“You only get votes, opportunities and the support you do because you’re a pretty face.”
First of all, as someone who struggles with self confidence this immediately confuses me slightly.. I don’t actually think I am a pretty face.. so why the hell would I get votes for that? And my blogs are not anything I would call entertaining for someone looking for that... they are boring in comparison to many here on the platform.
Why can’t I just get over this? I mean it’s not nearly as mean as the other things right? Or is it? Maybe it has to do with where the comments came from? Is it because I feel this negates all the work I’ve put in? Or is it a pride thing, I don’t even know...
But, let’s be honest here.. I’m not naive and understand how marketing works. I get we all are essentially building our brand here and individuals vote for what they like.. that’s the point. I also know that I could easily make videos of me smiling into a camera everyday talking about nothing and probably make bank... but that’s not who I am.
So, who am I?
I’ve been on this platform for 10 mths and started with nothing, I posted high quality content for my average $1-$3 and was glad to do it. I powered up everything and used my votes to uplift authors all I could. I didn’t buy my rep through vote bots and have maybe self voted a handful of times.
I have and continue to spend hours a day building communities (some like c-squared and helpie), mentoring curators and new authors alike , while curating to try to get the amazing authors on this platform seen... and guess what..
No one sees that.
Now I could continue on my tangent here about how maybe one of the votes I started getting recently could maybe have something to do with that mug up there.. show proof that I got great support and engagement when no one knew who was behind the account.. I could say that maybe, just maybe the support I’m getting has something to do with me going to steemfest and has nothing to do with my face.. but, this idea got me thinking of something even more interesting than all of that pointless nonsense...
If We Are Only Looking At The Surface, Are We Missing Important Things?
Now, I don’t even mean looking more than skin deep here.. that’s nice and all.. but, I mean the blockchain.
There have been many times on the platform where I will hear about how great a user is, how much they do to build and support communities, how much they help people etc. But, if you actually look at their activities.. they are supporting no one but themselves. And I’m not exaggerating.
This isn’t just users either.. it’s communites, curation initiatives, groups etc.
So why do we think they are so great?
Because they say they are..and we don’t bother to look. We are taking them at face value, and not looking at their actions.
I am one who believes that words are cheap, but actions are everything. And since the beginning I’ve had a habit of looking into those I support and what they do. Why? Because it’s my stake and I think it’s important how I use it.
I’ve come to realize not many do this though, and that confuses me...
Why aren’t we spending the time to look into the people and projects we support?
Now, many could simply say.. because I don’t care. and that is fine.. it’s your stake after all to do what you want to do. But I don’t actually think this is the mentality of most individuals here.. I think they just are taking people and initiatives at face value.
I think this happens in the opposite way as well though.
Users we see as villans and evil because of their public persona or what someone has said about them, becomes our reality.. but if we actually took the time to look at their actions, we might be pretty surprised.
I’ve found some of those accounts that many have a negative view of, are doing a hell of a lot more for this platform than the ones I currently see people putting up on a pedestal.
Many accounts and initiatives that are praised for the work they do.. are actually doing some pretty shady things.. and it’s right under our noses.
So, are we doing ourselves a disservice by taking everything at face value?
Are we being fooled by the Pretty Face that they show the world? Are we supporting those that are actually doing right by the platform? Or are we supporting the negative here, that just happens to have been wrapped up in a nice package?
It’s up to each individual to decide what to do with their stake, but if you are one who feels that you always try to support those that are doing good and supporting others, and really being an amazing part of this community...
You might want to take a few minutes to look at those you support and their actions...
What you find may surprise you.
I hope this discovery leads you in a positive direction.. I hope you find that those you had a negative image of are actually pretty amazing by platform standards. That has happened to me quite a few times actually.
If it leads you in a negative direction, where maybe someone isn’t exactly who you thought they were.. make something positive out of it. Go find someone who is truly doing good and support them instead.
This is our blockchain and we can use our stake to help make it what we want it to be... we just have to take the time to look.
Much love,
💕 Justine
What, someone slutshamed you!? I get that I’m called that for my pictures, but you, that is just ridiculous!
I’ve often said that even though it definitely doesn’t hurt to have a pretty face, if that is all you are, you are not going to do well in here.
People are quick to judge a book by its cover, and it’s easier for someone to crasp that oh you just get upvoted because you are beautiful, than that you actually worked your ass off for it for months and months. Most aren’t going to do that because they lack the drive and ideas to pull it off, so they feel better about themselves when they try and put down ”a pretty girl.”
You keep doing you and I can’t wait to meet the beautiful person you are in real life!
Well yes Eve, haven’t you seen my blog? I’m super seductive.. haven’t you seen the photos with that weird squished face I do.. that face brings all the boys to the yard.. clearly.
Hahahah, sadly.. the slut shaming wasn’t even a big deal. I hate that it happens, that it’s become just part of our culture and I’m sure you have gotten plenty of it which is completely ridiculous...
But yeah it’s the whole, take away everything you’ve worked for thing that really irks me.. and well of course that sent me down one of my rabbit holes of judging a book by its cover here on the blockchain.
I think looks can only get you so far, you’re right..at the end of the day it’s all the other stuff that makes or breaks you not only here but in real life. What I find though is those that embrace just being a face with no real ideas, those that don’t question or speak up.. they are accepted with open arms.
It’s those that are more than a pretty face that get the backlash.. But what’s so dangerous about a girl with brains and ambition anyways? Lots apparently..
Thanks for the love girl!! Excited to meet you in person!! We should scare people together.. that sounds like fun 😂😈
I can see a tiny bit of your neck and décolletage, don't underestimate the allure of that! :D
But that is exactly the thing, you have both the beauty and the brain, the most powerful combo in the world, people should be scared! ;)
I've had to stand up for myself in the past; point a few things out, but I don't like drawing too much attention to anything I do that might be considered good.
I explain this situation like this:
If I'm holding the door open for someone, you'll never hear me say, "HEY! Everyone! Look! I'm holding the door open for someone! I do amazing things for people! See! Look! Now she's inside! I did that!" I'll hold the door, and sometimes I don't even get a thank you, which is fine. Sometimes they won't even look me in the eye. That's fine too.
If someone was actually announcing it like that, we'd think they're crazy.
Some just use being shiny and perfect as their gimmick. Of course it's only misleading advertising. I see right through it. There are a lot of public figure personas mixed in with real people here. Those folks who preach the positivity stuff a bit too much for instance, scare me. What are you hiding? Do you have bodies in your basement?
I know it's not that bad, but I've never met someone who's truly happy 24/7, unless they're on pills 24/7.
Hmm. I appear to rambling. I had another point I wanted to bring up... Can't seem to remember it.
OH yeah! My nonsensical article titles and ridiculous thumbnail/cover images. There's logic behind that, believe it or not. On the surface it might look like crap, so those who tend to be superficial snobs usually won't click. They'll just judge the book by it's cover and stay away. It's like mosquito repellent. Then those who do click are usually some pretty down to earth and genuine people, and I get to enjoy their company.
I have to jump in here when I read the part about happy people. I completely agree, there is something fishy with overly smiling people. I have openly expressed my suspicions in a work place when there has been a new person coming in who wants to be best of friends with everyone, and 99% people buy into it, while I run the other way as fast as I can. There is no way you are always happy, you like everyone, and no misfortune bothers you, it's not natural!
It's unnatural indeed. Or when you're at the store, see someone you know, haven't seen them in awhile, approach them just to say hi, you can see they're busy, looking kind of grumpy, finally say hi, they look up, instant plastic smile! Gasp! Instead of a calm hello you get, "Oh my god look who it is!" They make a big scene. It's just me, what the hell? Calm down. It's only been a month.
"Oh my god it's like sooooo good to see you! hug I've been meaning to call you, but I've been like sooo busy. How are you? How is the new work? Sorry I gotta run, need to pick up my goldfish from daycare. We really need to get in touch more often, like old times. hug Bye!"
Lies, so many lies.
Ha! "I've been meaning to call you.." That's a classic.
couldn't agree more...
You seriously write the absolute best comments.. I always love coming upon a post and see you there.. I just read through like a good book haha.
I think your explanation is spot on and why this will be the first and last time I ever talk about what I do... I don’t do it for attention so why advertise it right?
The idea of all the things you don’t see got me to thinking about all the things you actually can see quite easily.. the blockchain is forever after all. The idea that some of the fakeness can easily be seen through for those that want to look is sort of a nice alternative to how it is in real life.
Yes, to me we are all imperfect and cannot be happy all the time.. we can always try to focus on the good and not dwell on the negative.. but those that are overly cheery and constantly pretending everything is sunshine and rainbows all the time give me the bit of the creeps and makes me not trust them haha.
It’s ok to be real.. it’s ok to admit you are struggling, it’s ok to say today freaking sucked occasionally. I prefer realness everyday of the week and all that comes with that.
Your mosquito repellent evil plan is quite genius.. I like it 🙌🏼
Thanks for all the support and for being one of the real ones.. it’s appreciated more than you know! ❤️
In person, trying to say these things, I'd probably lose my chain of thought half way through. Writing books is easier.
The blockchain makes it impossible to be full of crap. We also have to be careful though. We can look back and see what some might consider to be mistakes from the past, but not see them as mistakes with our own eyes. You might see a big red flag and be all like, "Gotcha!" But you might miss the part two weeks later where they said, "Look, I screwed up." So there's that, too. It's all there.
Mistakes can come back to haunt us. I've made mistakes and I know attempting to be perfect is a waste of time with my history locked in a loaded here, forever, so I don't make any effort at all to be perfect. If someone finds a flaw, good! That's me! Never said I was perfect so what's the big deal?
As for the support stuff, you're welcome.
I totally agree with you 100% here.. we all screw up and if we come to a conclusion about someone because of one thing rather than looking at the whole picture than to me that’s worse than not looking at all. I just think we have an opportunity on this blockchain to take in consideration a persons actions as well as their word. I think who we support is important and sometimes things aren’t as they seem.
I think honesty and those that can admit they aren’t perfect and are just doing the best they can are the ones I seem to gravitate towards.. I just can’t do all the fakeness and claiming to be something they aren’t. Let’s just be our crazy imperfect self’s eh? ❤️
Yeah, eh! I didn't know you speak Canadian.
I hope you are not just a pretty face because that would be incredibly awkward to have to carry you everywhere.
LOL!!!
I have seen many pretty faces. I admit I will check out many articles or stories if it is written by an attractive person. You included. But I only stay and follow those that have other things to offer. And if I comment AND upvote over and over, then I like the person.
Sometimes it is a vibe I get, the things the person says or the sense of the kind of person behind the words. I can tell pretty well, by now, what type of person I like to follow. Ones who are different, or ones who are open to other things, or ones I feel are special in other ways.
I like to be around those type of people, even on the internet. I know some of that is vague generalities, because I can't put down those feelings too well in writing.
You fall into most of those categories. Even though everyone has their bad days, you give off a feeling of goodness. You seem to care about things other than yourself. That is what I like about you.
And when I write individualized poems in my answers to you more than once, you are a keeper.
Only a few people fall into the last category. You, @eveuncovered, @escapist (although I think she is not a big fan of poems), and @taliakerch. All for different and unique reasons.
Omg. I can't believe you have experienced this and if I knew who they were I would downright flag the everything out of them. I KNOW what you do for this platform and have always admired you for it, both with and without your face. Don't worry.. it works the other way too... I'm not sure how much validity I have as an older woman here who isn't pretty by whatever standards this society gives us. Dammit. Why am I naive to think it wouldn't happen on this platform?? Because I've seen stuff.. and have been politely ignoring it in the hope the good stuff outweighs it all. A honest and fucking brilliant piece. Resteemed.
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Oh thanks but seriously.. they were put in their place and I didn’t even have to do it.. so it was fine. The other part I just need to work on shaking.. and I’m about there.
You are so incredibly kind, thank you for that. Wanna hear something crazy though... I’ve always admired you 👀
You are hands down one of the most exceptional content creators on this platform. Your content is high quality, so personal and sooo well done. I remember reading the first blog post I came across of yours and being absolutely blown away.. your content speaks for itself.. embrace that.
Even more than that though, you have now taken all of your talents and used it to embrace and uplift other amazing authors.. you are a perfect example of someone who is doing right by the platform in so many ways, thank you for that.
There is of course bad here.. and quite frankly when I’ve come across it I wish I could just not know, but there is a lot of good too.. and I am a firm believer that uplifting the good is always the answer. Finding our own communities of like minded individuals who also can recognize the good and come together to make a difference.. that’s the goal, and I think you are doing a great job of that.
Thanks so much for your absolutely over the moon kind words and for just being you.. we need more folks like you around here. ❤️
Awww shucks. I might just print this comment and frame it. You have made my day. Thankyou so much for the compliment! I have been working so hard here so it's nice to be recognised.
I guess one of the things I loved about Steemit was it's diversity - age, gender, race etc seems to fade into background. Yet of course for some these identities are relevant, and that brings up some stuff for me and makes me feel sad and a little jaded about humanity as a whole. But it shouldn't - really, it's few and far between as there are many amazing people here. I have some close confidantes on Discord too for the real venting of steam, so to speak!! Focussing on the good folk like you, @llfarms, keeps me here. 💜💜💜
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Ah well what can you do? Even though it is an open system and any info on a profile is freely available. Like if you wanted to really know how or why someone carries favour on the blockchain its not that hard to find out if its community, whale support, bots etc
I just think that the lashing out at people comes from a combination of ignorance of how the platform works and just being salty and wanting shit for free or to be easy. I don't know why people join steemit to be so highly strung out and shit all over the community or the economics of it all, like dude, relax. Have fun with it and people who dig your vibe will gravitate to you eventually and support you.
Also like you say a lot of what goes on on steemit happens behind the scenes on discord and not many people can see the effort being put in to network and to build the community. I don't really pay salty people any mind really, I've had a few lash out at me too, just not worth the effort to respond I let karma handle that for me
Oh man your comment had be giggling like a little fat kid, thanks for that ❤️
It’s true, it’s all very easily found if someone wants to find it. And maybe most just truly have no interest in it and just want to vote what they want.. I’m totally good with that.
Just the whole situation got me thinking about how our ideas of people don’t match up with reality.. which is normal even in real life. The difference here is that sometimes we are supporting (or not supporting them) based on the good they may or not be doing.. without even looking. It’s an interesting thing to be able to actually look at all the activities an account has done.. stalker power of the blockchain I guess. haha
This is the most truthful and honest thing I’ve read on the blockchain lately and I couldn’t agree more. We are way too quick to judge and then complain.. without knowing any facts whatsoever.. and the entitlement attitude can be a bit strong here at times. 👀
A ton goes on off the blockchain, and I think discord is such a great tool.. but it does make seeing some of the work people put in a bit tough unless you really really dig.
I agree, all we can do is be us and do the best we can do.. the rest is out of our hands.
Thanks for your amazing comment, encouragement and support.. it means a lot 🤗
#hardcore
LOL @waybeyondpadthai I'm just a spiritual gangsta like that!
I do believe in that as well but not too sure if it's around here on the blockchain. Well, I kinda guess it is..
Well Karma isn't always the instant reaction, it can take its time but eventually everyone gets back what they put out. Somtimes it may manifest on the blockchain other times in the real world. I'm just here to be a good vibe sender and attract good tribe members :)
Although I came across this post too late, for my (tiny) upvote to count, I still feel compelled to comment...
To vote for c-squared as witness as announced in the post on @c-cubed, I thought it would be good to know a little bit about the people behind it.
I have encountered @Carlgnash a number of times since my very first days here on steemit and have a very high opinion of him. That's why I liked the initiative from the get go and have a good feeling about my witness vote.
To get to the "pretty face"... of course, even with Carlgnash's photo as fierce competition, your's is by far the most attractive in the witness post.. at least for a straight guy, I should add. But why would it matter?
Ok, in this case it doesn't, as you present yourselves as a team with all your individual strengths. And voting for witnesses just for the looks of someone would appear somewhat questionable in my eyes.
Speaking of eyes.. we are very visual creatures and for me as a visual artist, that aspect might be even more important. I think the attraction to a "pretty face" is a very basic concept, not only in human nature, but nature per se. It gets the attention. Keeping it, is a whole different story.
We live in a time with a sort of image overload. We have gotten used to the pretty instagram face, edited, streamlined and omnipresent. But to me it seems like the attention span it gets is becoming shorter and shorter and if there isn't more to it, you are instantly forgotten (which gives instagram a whole new meaning)
Without the brains, the looks won't take you very far, as @eveuncovered states (and does) so well.
So, even if it might have been the picture, that got me curious to read this post, it is what you say (write) that keeps me interested and curious for more... 😎
Hey thanks for your support @reinhard-schmid and your kind words! Well said :)
Most welcome! Many thanks to you as well!!
Honestly that sounds like someone struggling with the amount they make on their posts, feeling entitled to something that they aren't getting, and ultimately jealous of your success. Blaming it on how you look is hilarious because I know from being around that you never showed pictures of yourself until the SteemFest contest required it. I'll say the same thing I said when I recommend you for the competition. You are a beautiful soul and deserve it. Fuck the haters, life is too short for that bull shit.
I think we as humans sometimes have this uncanny need to knock people down a peg sometimes.. well some do.
I think it’s just one of those things that just is said without thinking or without looking at any facts.. which is what brought me to the supporting people and projects we haven’t so much as looked at.
It’s kind of an interesting look at human behavior and while in real life it’s sometimes harder to get through the fakeness.. we have the ability to look at some of the actions people have done.. which is kind of amazing when you think about it.
Yes, my face is new.. but my hash.. browns are forever Clay 😜❤️
Thanks for the love brother 💕
women with visibility will always have to fight against our perceived looks. we can't be actually meritting things on merits. apparently. noooo.
it's either cuz we slut it up. or we pretty. or we cute. or sommit.
you are brave for putting your face out there, lele. i know some reactions suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuux butts, but i hope you wont be discouraged....
me, i will hide foreverrrrrrrr wuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
oh, here's my real footage
VERY BEAUTIFUL
you can see why people give me upvotes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Justine.. I will always remember you first as the girl with the hash brownie farm in helpie.. you are so cool. I wish I could be as brave and strong as you always seem to be. I read this whole thing and now I don't have much time to comment.. but all your words here, as is per usual, resonated with me on a deeply profound level and I am envious of everyone who will get to soon meet you at steemfest. And anyone who ever says anything terrible about you, especially based solely on your outer beauty, better come and fucking talk to me as well. I have words for them, and they are not "pretty."
Love you, girlfriend.