My Child Being Fat Shamed and Bullied at School during Lunch :(
He kept asking her " why are your parents letting you eat that, it's not good for you and will make you fat"
This is what a classmate named Nico continually said (among other things) to my oldest daughter during lunch .
He would analyze everything...
she took out of her lunch box. Bad, Good, Fat, not fatty etc...etc..And it got to the point that she stopped eating lunch for a few days because of the torment.
Unfortunately My Daughter is Not Alone...
Bullying has been an epidemic in our Country these days ,and it has gotten to the point where kids are taking their own lives because of it. This is just inexcusable.
But Is It Different from when I grew up 35 to 40 years ago ??
I know I had a relentless bully in junior high. His name was David Penegar , and he tormented me to no ends. Calling me names and continually putting me in 'blood blocking' headlocks whenever he got the chance. And I also saw other kids getting bullied back in the day. So, NO, I do not think it's much different than it is now.
But with the advent of Social Media and the Internet...
the context is somewhat different. It has gotten to the point that kids have nowhere to go to hide from the bullying. It's at school and when they get home it's on their Computer. It can be a full time living hell for them.
What Must We Do ??
Make Bullying unacceptable in any setting or scenario. I say three strikes and your out of school, permanently. Luckily at my daughter's school we talked to the teacher about little Nico and his bullying. He wrote her a sweet apology letter and quit the bullying and fat shaming.
It would be nice if all cases of bullying worked out like this...
But the majority do not. We really need to start at a very young age and teach our children the boundaries they must abide by when interacting with other children. And the moment there is a sense of Bullying going on we need to nip it in the bud right then and there. No more excuses , PERIOD !!
End of rant !!
Robert
So sorry 😞 Even adults who should know better can still be bullies
Big hugs to your daughter. Sending ❤
I have thought about this a lot as well with the bullying. I feel like it is the same in some respects as it was years ago but like you said with social media the kids could keep at it. I mean hell.... I have some basement dwelling bully trolls that pop up on my crypto YouTube channel once in awhile and it isn't like they would tell me that stuff to my face.
I feel like slight bullying or social pressure can actually be important to a person's development and being able to interact with other people. I have noticed it a lot of times with kids that have been home schooled often don't know how to interact with others in the same way even if they were home schooled until they were in High School for instance because kids in elementary school don't have a filter and if the kids do something that is "weird" then other kids might say something. Like eating glue or something.
Once people go past a certain age they tend to talk behind their back more than directly question what they are doing in an out spoken manner.
I have seen several people who were home schooled all the way through school and then went to college and pretty much 100% of the time those people were very awkward and socially regressed. They never really fit in and just act strange in my experience.
I guess my point is in regards to your daughter is that since she has a good family structure that she will work through it and maybe at the end of the day little Nico had a crush on her and was trying to get her attention....etc. LOL
Bullying can make a child inferior. Therefore, as parents, we must be responsive to children's development. Stop bullying from now on ..
It's so ingrained into our society, even at the subtlist levels, and is indeed a slippery slope. Even being forced to pay taxes with the threat of armed violence and imprisonment (kidnapping) is bullying. I think it would take an entire paradigm shift, to eliminate it completely.
Peace.
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Most animals have a pecking order. I don't think humans are that far above that.
What we now call bullying is a part of growing up. I also had a bully situation. I survived it and so did you and so will your daughter.
Don't get me wrong I know the anger that comes from a parent when our child feels hurt.
We can never control what other people do and say, so I feel society has made a huge mistake teaching kids to be upset if they are bullied, it just ads to it.
Personally, I would tell my child to answer Mico. Yeah, Mico, this is what I am eating for lunch so what? Or every time he made a comment just say.. I don't care... Teaching children that something bad is happening to them and teaching them to appeal to authority each time also has it's limits.
At home make sure you stay in touch with her feelings, report the incident, but I also recommend teaching your daughter to brush it off will also be helpful.
Again, I am not minimizing her feelings or yours, I am just saying there will always be mean kids. Parents in my opinion should teach their kids to become bully proof as much as possible. No one else can solve it.
Edited to add, I worked in a school as an SLP Assistant as I was finishing my education and I would recommend teaching her to look right in Mico's eyes and say So what or Where did you learn that? I would practice it with her over and over until she feels comfortable doing it. No girl should allow herself to be bullied.
Bullying is tough to handle. Almost everyone gets bullied but only a few triumph. The majority have to deal with it and never get to feel a sense of justice. Id say a high self esteem is the best.
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Interesante tema, amigo, @robertandrew. Los niños se ven afectados cuando le aplican bulling!
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