How to Deal with Loss

Beyond having, we want to gain more daily. More friends, more money, more certificates, more promotion, a bigger house, an additional car or business. The list usually long. Even if the opportunity is not there to gain, we are usually not ready or willing to lose that we've got.

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Yet most of us have lived long enough to find out that life in not only characterized with "gains" but also with "losses". Losses come in different forms and magnitude. It could be a family or friend one dearly loves; a job, position, business, relationship or some good sum of money. The rate of obituary we see on social media these days are gradually rising above birthday celebrations. This indeed has inspired this write up on how to deal with losses.

Whenever a tragedy happens, it leaves us sad and in many cases devastated. Since it's a reality of life, learning how to deal with it is crucial. Here are a few suggestions:

Realize and Accept it as a Reality.

Seeing the loss of someone or something we hold dear as a reality, albeit unpleasant, is a great step in dealing with it. Even when Job lost his children, wealth and health he could still say "Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” As Christians we must accept the reality that God of the "good times" is still God in the "bad times".

Realize that some losses are needed to gain.

God allows us to experience some losses so as to have some big gains. Imagine when Jesus broke the news of His impending death to the disciples. They didn't want it to happen but through that death and three-days-later resurrection, redemption was made possible and the hope of eternal life was sealed. Some loses are not loses but gains in the long run.

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Speak to God from a Point of Gratitude.

When we lose someone or something, the devil encourages us to focus on our loss. But we'll fare better when we choose to count our blessings. Look around you, you'll see what God has done. When you start counting your blessings, your losses reduce. Thank God for all He's done; speak to Him about your loss and surrender to His will. But don't curse God or Sin. (Job 1:1-21)

Open up and Talk to Someone.

"No one should bear his burden alone". You shouldn't. That's why God has given you a family and friends. If you doubt if they could be of great help, talk to a counsellor.

Face the Truth.

Some losses are a result of our greed, gullibility, carelessness, pride and ignorance.* We must tell ourselves the bitter truth, repent, forgive ourselves, learn from this losses and be better.

Express rather than Numb the Pains.

Some losses are very traumatic and cause great grief. Cry, if that's how you feel but don't take drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. These substance only take away your senses from the pain but never take the pain away.

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Give it Time to Heal.

Time heals all wounds. One day, the pain of your loss will go or reduce greatly. Just give it time. In the meantime, allow life to go on. Visit some new place, invest in new businesses, start a new project; play, eat, take care of yourself and those around you.

The losses and consequent pains that greet us in life, sometimes make life unbearable. But with time and trust in God there will be light at the end of the tunnel. After the rain will surely come sunshine.

Yours truly

@zizymena