Unique children: advantages and disadvantages.
There are several myths around the only children. Some of them have some kind of truth behind, but not all. At the same time, more and more couples decide to have only one child, either for financial reasons or because they do not have enough time to take care of more children.
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Of course, being an only child is not the same as growing up with siblings. The type of family in which the child grows has a great influence on the creation of the personality. This is not, however, neither good nor bad on its own. Having siblings does not necessarily make you more sociable and supportive, and not having them does not make you a little tyrant who is intractable.
"The best gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence." -Denis Waitley-
The fundamental thing in all cases is the style of creation and the example that children receive at home. However, the most common is that single children end up developing some specific personality traits. There are advantages and disadvantages, and there are also risks and benefits of growing up with siblings. What is the difference?
Parents of unique children
Many wonder if parents of only children behave differently than parents of several children. The answer is yes. However, the fundamental question is not the number of children that the couple has, but the desire that existed in the number of children.
Parents on their first trip - and who will end up having only one child - who are not very sure about the best way to play the role of father, but who at the same time really wanted to have a child, tend to be a little anxious relationship with the creation of the child.
You may consult many books and manuals to get your bearings. They are also likely to feel easily guilty for everything that does not go as planned. The child will receive the full weight of that tension and may become stiff in some way.
There are parents who consciously intend to have a child, but deep down they did not really want to become parents. The most common is that in these cases they end up delegating their child's education to third parties. Maybe grandparents or otherwise an employee. The only child in this case will feel loneliness to a greater degree than usual, and may have difficulty in adult life to create bonding.
Finally, whoever does not want to be a father but ends up having an only child, can still assimilate the situation in a positive way and take the creation of the child in a natural way. Or, also, the child could be the exclusive recipient of all the consequences of this conflict of adult life, a conflict between the awareness of responsibility and desire. In that case, children often have a hard time finding their place in the world.
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Little adults
Dr. Toni Falbo, of the University of Texas, studied in depth the phenomenon of the only children. According to their findings, one of the effects of this situation is that children live for a large part of their time only with adults. So in the end they feel more comfortable among adults and behave like them as soon as possible.
As an effect of this situation, the only children tend to see adults, and even their parents, as equals. This distance between generations is perceived in a different way. And then they can get to see all the elderly as their parents. This can lead them to be hard on themselves, it will require a maturity that must be demanded of adults, or desire autonomy and success incompatible with their age.
On the contrary, Falbo says that only children also tend to have greater self-esteem and greater self-confidence. It is easier for them to understand what teachers and other authority figures expect and easily become leaders among people their age.
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Teamwork and friends
The only children usually have a little more difficult to adapt at the time of doing group work. They are used to organizing things in their own way, and making decisions based on their individual questions. However, it seems that this difficulty manifests itself only in the first times this type of work is presented. The most common is that little by little they adapt and get integrated to the group.
There are also data that indicate that only children tend to have fewer friends than those who grew up with siblings. They do not feel comfortable in large groups. Prefer to have some friends with whom the ties are quite deep. In fact, ending the establishment of friends an accessory similar to what others have with their brothers.
What can be stated more precisely is that single children have slightly different traits than children who have siblings. However, large differences appear only when parents have a problematic relationship with parenthood or motherhood for several possible reasons. Otherwise, they have particularities that do not become decisive.
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