2 Years - Now What?

I can't believe that it has been 2 years. I actually missed the exact date of my Steemit anniversary as I have been very busy lately. Business as usual. I have been focusing on my own website to speed things up but as you know, success doesn't happen overnight. I'm not obsessed though, I just want my life to change. And I believe I can. It's just that things are slow in society these days, quite understandable. I have high hopes next season. I try to check on what's going on here on Steemit community lately and it looks like I missed a lot of things.

I guess a lot of things has changed around here. I just don't know if it's for the better. It's nice to see that the people I follow are still writing. It's nice to know that I still have followers. People stay for the community. I guess Steemit is here to stay then.

I admit that I haven't been active around here. It's not because I lost interest. It's not because I have nothing to say anymore. I still have a lot of things to share about my life. It's just that my current environment is not conducive to writing. It's just way too noisy. Too many distractions around me. That's the number one reason. The funny thing is that I don't mind, surprisingly. I used to live alone in my own apartment back when I still could afford solitude. But in this part of the world, silence is a luxury. Everyone is part of the community. My life has changed.

Or maybe I just I have way too many excuses. I mean I still love writing. I really do. I like to release my thoughts and all these bottled emotions out there. Who else would care to listen anyway? It's just hard to do so these days. Maybe because I belong in a community now. I have to adapt. I spend more time with humans. I get to tell stuff to other souls. Yes, things have changed on my end too. My friend even thought that I gained weight a little bit. In a good and healthy way though. He said, maybe I am happy.

I can't really say I am happy now because I don't want to be happy. I want to be awake and wise instead. Not oblivious to what's happening around me. Because deep down, I enjoy being unhappy. It makes me more human. It gives me the illusion that I'm a bit less dumb day by day. I am obsessed with the truth. I like to feel everything. Excitement, sadness, and all.

I used to be a prolific writer back when there was no else to talk to. Back when I had no choice but to reflect on things. I might be surrounded by people but I had been alone for so long. Nobody was telling me what is right or wrong. I had been writing down my life because there was no other way. No other way to fill the void and makes sense of things. I got to listen to my own voice.

They say that when you isolate yourself for a while, your senses get amplified. When you are silent for so long, you hear things too loud. It makes sense, doesn't it? I realized it was probably why I got irritated easily by my neighbor's dogs, every little noise, and all. I became more sensitive to the things around me. I even thought that everyone was out there to hurt me. Yeah, I hear things. Scary.

Wow, lots of realizations. 2 years and counting. In the end, I have a home to come back to. If everything else fails, or not, and I'm back in the game, then I'll sure be writing again.