I can't heal...
It has been a very stressful week for me. From time to time I reach a point where things dont make sense anymore. I started thinking about things happened in my childhood and how to make them different if I could. It is difficult and also too late. I dont understand why I reacted in certain ways or why I accepted things I wouldn't accept now. But all that effected me deeply and still effecting me. It has been years, but I cant forget anything.
My parents left me to live in my grandparents house. They were working and too busy to have time for me. I dont understand why parents take such decisions and expect everything to be normal. It might work out with some people, but didnt work out with me. I became very cold and didnt had any feeling towards them. What I mean is that I couldn't see them as my parents anymore. I just felt like a lonely child who doesnt have anybody to love. I always felt that they never loved me and cared for me. When I went again to live with them, I couldnt have that same feeling again. They were just strangers that I had to live with. They were just fighting and arguing about everything. They didnt even notice I am not that same child they left for 8 years. They never asked me why I am different or tried to give me what I really want.
Thats the mistake the most parents do. They think all what a child needs is good clothes and books. A child needs to go to school and study well. They never think a child needs love and extra care. Thats all what I wanted from them, but they didnt even notice. Finally I had to look for love somewhere else, but it isnt the same. I still feel something is missing in my life, but unfortunately I didnt figure out how to time-travel :(
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I had my parents but witnessed alot of arguing and I can strongly relate where you say you had the good clothes, books even toys maybe but the love was missing @hanen
Unfortunately thats the life of many children. Some of our parents dont see what we really need and look for. But hopefully we can be better parents in the future :)
One of my friends was raised by her grandmother and grew up without her parents... I haven't pried into the details, but I can imagine it must have been difficult... :(
As for me, an "average" family upbringing, but quite dysfunctional... I could never relate with anyone in my household :-/
Anyways, I haven't voted much or participated much on here because I'm delegating 99% of my remaining SP out... but I sent you a tip. You've worked so hard posting regularly and I'm glad you're here on the blockchain with all of us :)
Thats exactly my problem! Same as yours and no matter what I do it doesnt work out. Now my parents are already about 70 years old and nothing changed.
Thank you very much for the tip! First I didnt understood from it came from :) I am already for a year here and active mostly everyday. Thats because of you and other good friends. Thank you :)
Hi @overkillcoin! You have received 0.1 SBD tip from @hanen!
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I'm sorry to hear that. But if there's nothing you can do about it, only one thing remains. To let it go and live for the present.
Don't let your past keep hurting you. What's done, it's done.
Focus on what you want to take from this life... And enjoy the world as much as you can, be it on your own or among friends.
Hugs!
Thank you for your kind words! Thats what I have been doing in the past years. I was waiting for the day they would realize their mistakes, but seems that day is not going to come :( I am just trying to be strong and live normal.
Good thing is talking about it. Worst thing is holding it inside. When you find someone with qualities you like , be open to them. :-)
Thats what I will do in the future. It is difficult, but I should do that step :)