MY WIFE-episode 11

MADAM BOLA: morning baba o!

BABA: morning. E don tey since I never see you. You don forget us abi?

MADAM BOLA: no be so, baba. I no well na from hospital to hospital I dey go

BABA: you for come collect herbs now

MADAM BOLA: I go come for that one soon but e get one way I need like now now!

BABA: wetin be that one?

MADAM BOLA: shebi you know that my omo Ibo tenant, na she be my wahala. I don do everything make I see if she go pack out, for where!

BABA: wetin exactly she do?

MADAM BOLA: ah baba! Since she enter that yard, I never well. Na from one sickness to the other! From one loss to the other. Now, since my daughter come home eat for her house, her marriage don enter wahala!

I believe say she be witch because as we dey suffer these things, na so she dey buy new new things! Last week she buy one big fridge and generator, yet she no get job o! How tenant go dey enjoy pass landlord! Ah! E no add up naw!

BABA: hmmmmmmm! You see that girl? She be witch. E get one strong medicine man wen dey give am medicine. She dey divert all una good luck to herself. But no worry, we go teach am say power pass power!
Wetin you want make we do am?

MADAM BOLA: baba, the bible says suffer not the witch to live! Make we kill am have peace. Haba!

BABA: madam, you no think say that one too harsh? Remember say you get daughter too and she too be person daughter. I no support the killing one ah!

MADAM BOLA: e for better like that, but if you no gree, make we make am mad. Baba, no be small madness o! Madness way go make am the waka naked for the streets of Lagos! I wan see am dey pick rubbish for gutter!

BABA: that one na small job. I go charge you seventy thousand.

MADAM BOLA: ah! e too much naw! Baba, na fifty I hold. Abeg

BABA: I dey come

(Baba went into his shrine and came back with some charms tied around with different coloured fabrics and feathers )

BABA: take this, when you reach house, do the normal incantations on it facing the east, then drop am for her doorstep. The moment her eyes see am, E go begin. E fit take two days before the proper madness start.

MADAM BOLA: eshe baba!

(Madam Bola got home, and did exactly as she was told. She did it in the early hours when everyone was still asleep. Around 7.am, Adaku was leaving for work when she saw the strange looking object on her doorstep)

ADAKU:? kee ihe di ihe a, bikonu! (What is this!)
Well, whatever you may be, whoever might have kept you, whatever your purpose… I declare that no weapon fashioned against me shall prosper! Any tongue that has declared evil against me, I bring you to judgement this morning.
In the name of Jesus Christ, I nullify you!

The bible say that the Lord has highly exalted Jesus and given him a name that is above every other name, that at the mention of the name Jesus every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord!

Therefore, you shall have no effect on me, as I continue to abide under the shadow of the almighty! (Picks it up and tries to put it in the bin)

MADAM BOLA: hey! Hey! No put that thing inside any bin for this compound! Na so you and your people dey spread juju everywhere! Carry am go wherever you want throw am. No be for this compound!

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(Nkechi did not come back from her boyfriend’s house yesterday. And as usual, Ebuka left the house early leaving just Amara and Funmi at home.
Amara had just woken up and went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. She looked out from the window and saw Funmi sitting by the swimming pool and crying away. So she gently walked up to her)

AMARACHI: I want to tell you a story, shall I?

FUNMI:(startled) Jesus Christ! You scared me! Seriously, why can’t you stay the hell away from me! Why are you stalking me!
Don’t you have a home or family to go back to!???

AMARACHI: my flight was rescheduled for Sunday, so I’ll stop disturbing you very soon. But I must tell you this story.

FUNMI: i am not interested!

AMARACHI: it doesn’t matter. Well, A farmer lived who was very poor and could barely provide his family’s daily bread. He works for a certain rich man in his farm and gets paid peanuts monthly. But it was his only source of livelihood so he was happy that he at least had one!

This farmer had an only son whom he managed to send to high school. One day, his son who was very brilliant got home and told him that he had been given scholarship to study abroad!

The farmer was over the moon, but his happiness quickly turned to sadness when his son mentioned that he needed money to purchase his flight ticket.

FUNMI: (repositions herself so that she is now facing and listening to Amara) why didn’t the scholarship board take care of that?

AMARACHI: well, they didn’t. So this man thought of what to do. He had no one to borrow from and month end was still far away. So he decided to steal from his master.

FUNMI: ughhhhh!

AMARACHI: he went to his master’s safe and took just enough money for his son’s flight ticket. He gave his son the money and he travelled. Unknown to him however, was the fact that one of his colleagues saw him taking the money!

FUNMI: oh sugar!

AMARACHI: the next day, his master summoned all of them and asked them who took the money, but they all denied it including him. So the master promised he was going to investigate and if he finds out who did it, he would ensure the fellow spends the rest of his life behind bars!
When the master left, the colleague that saw him taking the money called him separately and told him that he was going to report him to their master

The farmer begged and begged. So his colleague said that he would not tell their master on the condition that he gives him 50% of his salary every month.
Not wanting to go to jail, the farmer agreed to the condition.
Every month he would give his colleague half of his wage, and this carried on for years!

One day, He said to himself “I WILL REPORT MYSELF TO MY MASTER” so he went to his master and told him everything and how he had been paying his colleague to stop him from reporting him.

His master was greatly saddened, pardoned him and even promised him a pay rise. At the end of the month, he did not give his colleague any money. So he came asking for it.

Then the man said to him I HAVE REPORTED MYSELF TO MY MASTER, YOU NOW HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO REPORT. In shame, he left him alone

FUNMI: wow!

AMARACHI: Funmi?

FUNMI: Yes?

AMARACHI: report yourself to your master.

FUNMI: how do you mean?

AMARACHI: you see, when you report yourself to your master, you take the power away from the accuser!
When you sit your husband down and tell him exactly what happened, whoever is telling him all these will have nothing new to attack your home with.
I must leave you now. Good morning?

To be continued