Steemit 'Spot The Truths' Contest! 50 SBD To Be Won! *Edit: Winner Chosen*
Contest Rules
In this piece I've hidden some truths buried under a mountain of bullshit. One lucky person to spot at least 3 truths will win 50 SBD! The winner will be chosen by me; I'll favor answers that are short and funny and reserve ultimate decision and interpretation rights.
Edit: Winner is @howtostartablog, congrats! I've upvoted his answer up a bit and it should be the first reply
Steemit Spot The Truths
'Steemit' is an anagram of the Chinese word for 'DDOS'. The project was created when visionary founders Ned Scott and Dan Larimer discovered a way to bring blockchain to the masses when they realized the online world was missing the one thing everyone wanted: a place where you can easily find homesteading tips alongside investment advice written by people with learning disabilities. With this design in mind, they quickly made a fork of the popular matchmaking app Grindr, and voila! Steemit was born.
The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders rocketed Steem up the CoinMarketCap.com charts to #1. And there, it remained until 4 months ago when Steemit superstar trafalgar took some time off from the platform due to being inundated by unsolicited romantic advances from the likes of sweetsssj, soldier and allasyummyfood; his absence alone sending the value of the token spiraling down shit's creek.
Steem also boasts notable technical achievements including a lightning fast delegated proof-of-stake blockchain system which, to date, has never been successfully hacked except for that one time in 2016 when somebody had bothered to try. Things couldn't have looked better for the project.
However, in March 2017, Dan Larimer suddenly announced his resignation from Steemit Inc., citing his own inability to trust anyone with a first name for a last name to be primarily responsible for his decision to leave. Steemit CEO Ned Scott insists the break up was amicable, and maintains that his master password 'Ch0K3OnMyNut$D@n' was randomly generated by the system through sheer coincidence. While most of us lament the departure of our former CTO, the Chinese and Korean communities have since expressed a sense of relief in his absence, noting that they had always struggled to tell the two apart.
Image from The Tatiana Show Interview
The platform itself is also not without its controversy. Left handed people find it far more difficult to succeed on Steemit due to their reduced capacity to masturbate the guy to their right while standing in the formation of a circle. 'Try as I might, I just can't satisfy them as much when they're on my right' complained left handed Steemian hanshotfirst, who has asked to not have his username revealed. On an unrelated note, fun fact: kingscrown was born with two right hands.
Some have raised concerns about the caliber of the writing here being so high it actually detracts from the experience of reading articles from anywhere else. 'I don't know if I could ever pick up the 'The New York Times' or 'The Economist' again,' said popular Steemian kevinwong, 'it's just so hard going back to pieces that don't read like they've been google translated from English to Norwegian, then back into English again.'
Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD; a mere fraction of the rewards generated by the posts themselves. However, they are reluctant to call these offenders out by name in fear of the very very very real threat of being targeted and downvoted to oblivion in petty retribution.
Hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing. I didn't give anyone mentioned a heads up, I'm just hoping you all have a sense of humor about these things :) Bullshit aside I really enjoy Steemit and think it has a really bright future. I regret not being able to attend Steemfest and hope those of you there are having a wonderful time. Steem on boys and girls!
And here's me trying to figure out if this really is a contest.
Just in case, here's 10 truths:
I've chosen this to be the winner!
You'll get 50 sbd in a few minutes unless i misspell your name :)
I love you
Whoa thanks! Just the right amount for a new PS4 game.
@howtostartablog,
Well done This was really seriously funny....esp. 1. & 6. My fingers have already click on follow you before I can even recall instructed them todoso.
@trafalgar,
Good choice. Still I call for a revote, you can't call it yet until day 6th at least ;-p
Yes, I have nothing better todo than give you a hard time.....sorry I can't help judging judges.
Woah Nice ! :)
Up-Vote for applying year 3 math = 2 x 3best truth = 6
lol that answer's definitely a contender :)
Legit.
I found 3 truths. But I dare not give it back. lol **
hahaha :) hopefully the big guys on here can take a joke
yes....haha****
Let me summarize: first you animate your readers to tattle about the "big guys" and thus put them at risk of being flagged ... and then you just hope these "big guys can take a joke" ... You know: it's so easy to "hope" anything, haha. You are a big guy, too, wouldn't it be your duty to defend your readers when it matters? Will you have enough sense of honor and guts? Or would you prefer to stay in your own 'circle' instead? :-)))
Ok, I hope you can take a joke, too. :-) It was a real pleasure to read about all these left- and (double) right-handed people. Please, keep writing (also long articles).
First truth.
The brown nosing of whales seen here can be epic!
Second truth.
Yep, these dudes all look the same to me too!
Third truth.
Yes, sharing the wealth is evil and should be discouraged. How dare you be philanthropic!
Hilarious as always. Big kiss on the arse for you. 😂
haha thanks a lot
good answers, a contender for the 50 sbd here :)
Bah! Get away. I want to win.
Are you not getting tired of winning everything yet?
Come on Choo Choo, give someone else a chance. 😉
Oi. I only win stuff for minnows. I've not actually won anything for myself.
Damn, how do I get my heart to stop bleeding? 😂
If I was going to write a betting book on this I'd have you as heavy favourite, you've got some weird juju working for ya babe. 😉
🖕 😠
Me. At your heart bleeding comment.
😂😂😂
This is the best summary of what Steem is.
I think it should be the landing page.
i'm glad to read you say this teamsteem.
I'm glad you enjoyed my reply. Traf is a great comedy genius or he simply found one on Fiverr.
But he looks like a genius and so I think he's the real deal.
Ha, was thinking the same! 😉
hahaha thanks
yes, now we're talking :)
Mmmm.... I am seeing a pattern here listening to all you whales and dolphins.
Why is upvote, downvote, witness vote all dependent 'only' on the amount of steem one owns?
Should there not also be value if there was say 5,000 minnow with 1 steem voting, something that gives a multiple that is mildly logarithmic for manual key votes (put a key icon everyone can click on next to the upvote button where key votes means that said user have not key-voted more than 10 time in the last 24hours & have not key-voted for same account more than once in last 24 hours - so this vote factor is not wealth dependent), like if 1000 key votes = x1.1 payout, 10,000 key votes = x10, 100,000 key votes=x20, 1,000,000 key votes=x40 steem payout. This is a more fairly based meritocratic proof of effort system....and not just wealth based - founders, early investors, and whales-ques only system.
Well ok, maybe not such a strong multiple, but something like 100x1.001, then x1.01, x1.1, x2, x4, x8, etc...
Just a thought.....those who invested in steem should count (I agree), but why should 'only' the wealthy count if we want 1 billion people to all benefit from steem, why not the multitudes with minimal (assuming that it cost 10Steem to create each account and increasing), don't they also add great value?
Last I check, a millionaire (future of a dolphin), a billionaire (future of a whale), and a minow (minimum wage earner) all took the same 10 minutes to read that post.
And they all can't get the same 10 minutes of life back....everyone voice should be counted and weighted somehow.
Note Facebroke was first used for political good aka 3rd world country revolution & perhaps even Obama campaign (not that I am in support of but majority support was organic and not bought), then wealth and profit came in and it became a serious form of corruption of media manipulation (think Trump and Russian fake news)
We need a hardfork to carry the voice of the people. Can someone with >100K Steem please tell ceo @ned and cto @sneak ....get my point?
Up-Voted....for Truth in Jest.....but now I am a little concern and not sure if I want to invest serious shekels long term into steem if it was not really design for the masses/mainstream.
A discussion could be made if this is a serious invisible flaw in the current proof of work reward system.....OR not.....just my .02 cents of steem.
Today I wrote to a whale and I said this:
I want to support witnesses that support good ideas from minnows (because even if you don't get millions of steem easily from us you can get million dollar ideas from a minnow)
https://steemit.com/raspberrypi/@themarkymark/building-a-portable-game-console#@dj123/re-themarkymark-building-a-portable-game-console-20171104t030416574z
Definitely appreciate your quality effort with that other post, but you probably want make these types of comments their own post and use the Markdown Styling Guide to format it a little bit so it catches more eyes. It's hard to expect people to read every word when there's info overload on this platform. My attention span only goes as far as one-liners lately!
Just brain dumps....I'm possibly pessimistic, then again a millennium from now archaeological time-travelers will say if only @ned did something then 50 years from now steem will be $100,000 but alas he didn't, and popo-coin implemented a fair social proof of brain and got there first.
Up-Voted - Love you feedbacks (yes I read all 3 edits)....I will attempt to implement one-liners, does not work when I try to pickup handsome folks, but who knows on steemit, besides I'm an experimenter.
A very clever writer though. Keep bringing your A-game, but start networking and developing some followers to help that pay off.
Good effort on this here, but definitely in the wrong forum. Try posting on blog your thoughts on other blog discussions where the audience is more fitting to get some attention. I don't think a post about left handed masturbation capacity will get you heard much.
Agreed @steemmatt, I need to find the right handed forum where @ned, @sneak, and all the other orcas and whales hangout. If come across the spot where they do all their secret right-handshakes, point me there and I will furiously reply away :-)
Anyways did you see my reply to @stellabella's post? I cleaned it up a little so it looks post-ques and yet done in the spirit to support the main poster, hope it brings enough A-game to smack a smirk-ish grin on your face:
https://steemit.com/deathspiral/@stellabelle/is-steemit-in-an-economic-and-social-suicide-death-spiral#@dj123/re-stellabelle-is-steemit-in-an-economic-and-social-suicide-death-spiral-20171106t234113550z
@ned and @sneak hang out at illuminatis 'r us...
Most whales give more than they receive if not all whales. None of the whales are in the best paid authors.
Votes should be proportional to how much Steem someone holds no matter how much they own, as things are.
I invite you to argue otherwise in a post if you feel like it.
How dare you besmirch my reputation?! I have never left anyone “unsatisfied”! I demand satisfaction! Resmirch my reputation immediately or meet me out back for the dance battle of your lifetime (or whatever else happens back there).
haha yes, you've never 'left' anyone unsatisfied, which is exactly what I stated :)
Seriously though you make this place more fun. Keep bringing the fun!
haha thanks
any good comedy writers pop up while I was gone?
Sadly no. But I really think this short form humor could be exactly what we need to get it started. It is tough to write long, funny pieces. Many people won't do it for $1. But $1 for a quick funny "zap" (or whatever we end up with) would be seen as AMAZING! I tried to start a project encouraging humor but I didn't have enough SP to get it off the ground. But if I only need a few quarters to encourage people, I might be able to pull it off.
I entirely agree, was going to write an article about it, maybe i'll do it in a week or so
basically the sunk cost to producing long articles is too high to onboard new talent. nor is it chance that almost all viral content is short. on a platform like this there's far less lag in discovering clever ppl if the content is short
because of how rewards work ppl feel compelled to push out long articles as they generally indicate effort. except they're also incentivized to do it at a high frequency so you get long winded rubbish.
also, the idea that original high quality short content is somehow effortless to produce is categorically untrue. as with everything it requires talent and is mentally taxing
Exactly! It is much better to have funny people concentrating on the punchline rather than trying to find a way to stretch a joke into 800 words.
"people with learning disabilities." Technically accurate- I am one of these according to my peers- And by "peers" I mean parents.
"'Try as I might, I just can't satisfy them as much when they're on my right'" True- When the circle jerk of trust is broken, There's no one left to use your tears as lube.
fun fact: Everyone should take note of the fun fact buried somewhere in this post.
"running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize" In fact this is all I am capable of. However, what is this popularity thing you speak of?
haha i'll pick a winner today
this is a contender
Good stuff man!
I'm glad you're back. Steemit inc should hire you to be the star comedian show host.
haha thanks a lot for saying so, you're too kind
Hello @trafalgar here are some truth in your context.
This is so true
a place where you can easily find homesteading tips alongside investment advice written by people with learning disabilities
The ingenious system of rewarding people based on their ability to kiss the asses of larger stakeholders
The platform itself is also not without its controversy. Left handed people find it far more difficult to succeed on Steemit due to their reduced capacity to masturbate the guy to their right while standing in the formation of a circle.
lmao
Others have also expressed indignation at some of the more well known authors' tendency to exploit their popularity by running bullshit contests which only offer a pissy prize of 50 SBD; a mere fraction of the rewards generated by the posts themselves.
The sad truth
they are reluctant to call these offenders out by name in fear of the very very very real threat of being targeted and downvoted to oblivion in petty retribution.
thanks, a contender
will announce winner soonish
Lol absolutely hilarious.. very illuminating piece and jampacked with truth just like every other stuff found on the internet! And is that a picture of @traf jerking something off while signalling for an upvote? Haha great smile buddy :) Just only found time to read steemit stuff after spending all day at steemfest reading The Economist online :p
hahaha thanks kevin, glad you enjoyed it
just wanted to give some regular steemians are shoutout, hope you don't mind
only hanshotfirst was at the ass end of the joke here tho haha, you came out ok :)