Friends - Having them and being a good one - Tips for teenagers
Nobody wants to be alone (even if some think they need nobody in their lives). It is always nice to belong 'to a tribe' and have friends, but in order for you to have friends that really care for you, you first need to be a good friend to them.
Finding true friends can be very hard, some people may act as thought they are your friend, just to disappoint you, but a true friend will stand by you and be there for you, even in the times you think you do not need somebody.
We will not have control on when we meet a friend that stays with us, it is something that just happens. Before you know it, you have somebody that bring out the best in you and that you want to be good to and be there for them as well.
For some, the defining moments of friendship were profound, such as the soulmate who helps you through the grief of losing a family member or camps out in your hospital room when you're sick. For others, it's smaller gestures that loom large — the friend who talks for hours when you're feeling alone, even if it means going over on his cell phone minutes; the one who helps you with your homework, even when she hasn't done her own; or the friend who helps you search for your retainer, even when it means going through the garbage from the school lunch.
It is so easy to say the words "I am your friend", but the true proof is in your actions. No matter how big or small, but this is what will show somebody that you are true to what you say and that you will be there and stand by your friend... even when everybody else turns their backs on them.
Your friend needs to be able to depend on you and know that you are honest and trustworthy. In the same way that they can expect it from you, you can also expect it from them.
Friendship is a two way street, and will not work if one of you do all the work and make all the sacrifices. We must not be somebody's friend because we expect something back, but we can expect loyalty and love from the other person. If you are the only one giving it, you are most probably been used.
If you are in a 'toxic' friendship where you are used and are just good enough when it suits the others, or they are trying to influence you or do not accept you for who you are, it is better to move on and find a friend that appreciate you for the person you are.
We are blessed if we have good friends, but if you have a 'best friend' you are truly blessed. That is the one person you trust with everything, the one you share your deepest secrets with, the one you want and can be silly with and the one you never have to be shy or feel you will be judged.
Some people describe the communication between best friends as being a perfectly clear connection, almost as if it's on a frequency only they can hear.
A friend is also the one who will accept you but will also be honest - they will not let you go out of the house if they think you will embarrass yourself, they will tell you when they think you are being unfair to them, others or yourself and even when it can hurt or make you cross, they will not lie to you.
Being a good friend is not always easy and it may come with challenges or may sometimes feel you are not being treated fairly, you may fight and go a day without talking, but before long you will sort it out, because your life will just not be the same without them.
Many only learn the true value of friendship after it is gone. Work at your most important friendships, rather than letting them fall apart after a fight or fade away.
Some friends will come and go and some friends will stay - no matter how long you have a friend, be the best one you can be and enrich their lives.
